Since Hollywood is more interested in finding projects to remix, it would seem that the laziness now knows no bounds, as a long list of remakes and reboots are coming our way. In the form of two lists, we note the films we think are worthy and the ones that should be left the hell alone!
REMAKE NOT NEEDED LIST
COMMANDO
Even though parts of it are wholly ridiculous, I have always liked Commando. The reason I am against a re-make, is that it serves no purpose with its modernisation. Sourcing Commando for an action flick is truly uninspired when films like Shooter and 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi cover the same territory. The only reason that would make this venture worthy, is if Arnie reprised his role as Matrix, other than that, what's the point? Where's the hook? At the moment, there is no lead star, no director and no script.
Even though parts of it are wholly ridiculous, I have always liked Commando. The reason I am against a re-make, is that it serves no purpose with its modernisation. Sourcing Commando for an action flick is truly uninspired when films like Shooter and 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi cover the same territory. The only reason that would make this venture worthy, is if Arnie reprised his role as Matrix, other than that, what's the point? Where's the hook? At the moment, there is no lead star, no director and no script.
OVERBOARD
Originally set to be a Will Smith production with Jennifer Lopez in the Goldie Hawn role, significant changes have occurred since the 2010 announcement. Now, Anna Farris will play Kurt Russell's part and Eugenio Derbez will play the Goldie Hawn role...yeah I had to look him up too.
Originally set to be a Will Smith production with Jennifer Lopez in the Goldie Hawn role, significant changes have occurred since the 2010 announcement. Now, Anna Farris will play Kurt Russell's part and Eugenio Derbez will play the Goldie Hawn role...yeah I had to look him up too.
WILD BUNCH
Once again Will Smith is supposed to be producing this, yet I can't imagine Will replicating the level of violence this film needs. Smith's role would tell the tale of a disgraced DEA agent, who puts a team together to apprehend a Mexican drug lord. I'm thinking we'd end up with something between Extreme Prejudice (1987) and The Losers (2010), but research shows that Will is producing Karate Kid II, Hancock II, and will be involved in pre-production duties for Aladdin, Bad Boys 4 Life and Bad Boys 4.
Once again Will Smith is supposed to be producing this, yet I can't imagine Will replicating the level of violence this film needs. Smith's role would tell the tale of a disgraced DEA agent, who puts a team together to apprehend a Mexican drug lord. I'm thinking we'd end up with something between Extreme Prejudice (1987) and The Losers (2010), but research shows that Will is producing Karate Kid II, Hancock II, and will be involved in pre-production duties for Aladdin, Bad Boys 4 Life and Bad Boys 4.
| COMMANDO | OVERBOARD | WILD BUNCH |
PORKY'S
Don't the American Pie films count as Porky remakes? Do we need more juvenile humour, pushing the boundaries of bad taste, done badly. Yeah, I'm not a fan. The rights are apparently owned by radio presenter Howard Stern, but as it stands there is no director or cast attached.
Don't the American Pie films count as Porky remakes? Do we need more juvenile humour, pushing the boundaries of bad taste, done badly. Yeah, I'm not a fan. The rights are apparently owned by radio presenter Howard Stern, but as it stands there is no director or cast attached.
HONEY I SHRUNK THE KIDS
Looking at what has been done with Ant-Man in the effects department, any miniturisation project with a suitable budget could look amazing. But the thing is, if we have Ant-Man and the upcoming Ant-Man & The Wasp, what do we need with HISTK? There were already 3 sequels we didn't need, just leave it alone. Once again, nobody is attached to the project.
Looking at what has been done with Ant-Man in the effects department, any miniturisation project with a suitable budget could look amazing. But the thing is, if we have Ant-Man and the upcoming Ant-Man & The Wasp, what do we need with HISTK? There were already 3 sequels we didn't need, just leave it alone. Once again, nobody is attached to the project.
POLICE ACADEMY
The first Police Academy movie is a classic. It was made for just $4.5million and raked in a whopping $146million at the box office. But with too many sequels to mention and a TV show, I think we had our fair share of the cops you might not want to call, in any emergency. At this stage, only the producers are known - the original producer Paul Maslansky and I for the important sake of modernising the franchise, comedians Key and Peele, who wrote Central Intelligence...so maybe there is hope after all.
The first Police Academy movie is a classic. It was made for just $4.5million and raked in a whopping $146million at the box office. But with too many sequels to mention and a TV show, I think we had our fair share of the cops you might not want to call, in any emergency. At this stage, only the producers are known - the original producer Paul Maslansky and I for the important sake of modernising the franchise, comedians Key and Peele, who wrote Central Intelligence...so maybe there is hope after all.
| PORKYS | HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS | POLICE ACADEMY |
FLATLINERS
The new trailer is available to watch at the end of the article, but from that glimpse alone, what I am immediately missing is star charisma, emotional angst and the 'should we or shouldn't we dilemma' done with conviction. Oddly enough, it all looks all so clinical, self-aware and humourless.
The new trailer is available to watch at the end of the article, but from that glimpse alone, what I am immediately missing is star charisma, emotional angst and the 'should we or shouldn't we dilemma' done with conviction. Oddly enough, it all looks all so clinical, self-aware and humourless.
MARY POPPINS RETURNS
Already in production, perhaps this film should be called a straight sequel, as that's what it is. Rob Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Marshall helms the film, with Emily Blunt as Mary Poppins, Colin Firth as a grown up Peter and Emily Mortimer as a grown up Jane. I do want this to be good, but ohhh the skepticism that reigns in my mind.
Already in production, perhaps this film should be called a straight sequel, as that's what it is. Rob Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Marshall helms the film, with Emily Blunt as Mary Poppins, Colin Firth as a grown up Peter and Emily Mortimer as a grown up Jane. I do want this to be good, but ohhh the skepticism that reigns in my mind.
INVASION OF THE BODYSNATCHERS
Didn't we just have a remake? Oh, that was in 2007. Well I guess 10 years is an eternity in Hollywood, so here we go again. Depending on which version is being copied, can we win this time...please?
Didn't we just have a remake? Oh, that was in 2007. Well I guess 10 years is an eternity in Hollywood, so here we go again. Depending on which version is being copied, can we win this time...please?
| INVASION OF THE BODYSNATCHERS | FLATLINERS | MARY POPPINS |
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AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON
John Landis' original film gave us an amazing piece of horror cinema, with an iconic transformation scene. He passes the mantle on to his son Max, who will write and direct the remake. In the writing quarters alone, the original AAWIL had a type of unexpected, macabre humour, that set it apart from other horror films. We hope that Max can at least equal his father's skill, because he's messing with a much loved classic here. Father John will however serve as the executive producer.
John Landis' original film gave us an amazing piece of horror cinema, with an iconic transformation scene. He passes the mantle on to his son Max, who will write and direct the remake. In the writing quarters alone, the original AAWIL had a type of unexpected, macabre humour, that set it apart from other horror films. We hope that Max can at least equal his father's skill, because he's messing with a much loved classic here. Father John will however serve as the executive producer.
THREE MEN & A BABY
It was said around 2 years ago that Ryan Gosling, Aston Kutcher and Ryan Reynolds were set to play the 3 main roles, but I wonder if this was some lonely housewife's fantasy. I have found no evidence to support this was ever true and there is very little information on this project. I think this one will be scrapped...O well!
It was said around 2 years ago that Ryan Gosling, Aston Kutcher and Ryan Reynolds were set to play the 3 main roles, but I wonder if this was some lonely housewife's fantasy. I have found no evidence to support this was ever true and there is very little information on this project. I think this one will be scrapped...O well!
THE BIRDS
Set to be directed by Diederik Van Rooijen and starring Naomi Watts, the Michael Bay produced movie of Hitchcock's classic, is about to get revised. Some may say that all Hitchcock films are untouchable for remakes, personally, I would suggest finding the most boring, underdeveloped movie in his filmography and give the new version the mantle of an 'inspired by' status. But, if you absolutely wanted to recreate a classic Hitchcock film, then with the likes of The Birds you have to do the one thing Hitchcock didn't - and that's give a reason for the birds attacking. Whether through government experiment or a mishap in nature, whatever reason is given, it has to be strong.
Set to be directed by Diederik Van Rooijen and starring Naomi Watts, the Michael Bay produced movie of Hitchcock's classic, is about to get revised. Some may say that all Hitchcock films are untouchable for remakes, personally, I would suggest finding the most boring, underdeveloped movie in his filmography and give the new version the mantle of an 'inspired by' status. But, if you absolutely wanted to recreate a classic Hitchcock film, then with the likes of The Birds you have to do the one thing Hitchcock didn't - and that's give a reason for the birds attacking. Whether through government experiment or a mishap in nature, whatever reason is given, it has to be strong.
| AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN... | 3 MEN & A BABY | THE BIRDS |
COULD BE INTERESTING
IF DONE RIGHT LIST
IF DONE RIGHT LIST
SPLASH
It's been a long time since I've seen Splash, but with the original, veteran director Ron Howard onboard and original producer extraordinaire Brian Grazer in toe too, I actually expect this film to be better than the original. Channing Tatum will be playing the Mermaid/man Daryl Hannah role and Jillian Bell takes on the human Tom Hanks role.
It's been a long time since I've seen Splash, but with the original, veteran director Ron Howard onboard and original producer extraordinaire Brian Grazer in toe too, I actually expect this film to be better than the original. Channing Tatum will be playing the Mermaid/man Daryl Hannah role and Jillian Bell takes on the human Tom Hanks role.
THE CRAFT
The original Craft film was not bad, but it kinda fell into melodrama and some real over-the-topness towards the end. It's best parts were the subtle spells and petty cruelties that were inflicted, rather than all the shouting, thunder and lightning. The casting for this project will be a nightmare because whereas modern day horrors can find bland, no-name actors, to act as fodder for the big nasty, here we are dealing with a light supernatural horror, where the 4 main characters really need to be able to hold their own on screen. The production can't really turn up the jump-out-of-your-seat elements to compensate, as it's not that type of film. Honeymoon director Leigh Janiak is behind the lens.
The original Craft film was not bad, but it kinda fell into melodrama and some real over-the-topness towards the end. It's best parts were the subtle spells and petty cruelties that were inflicted, rather than all the shouting, thunder and lightning. The casting for this project will be a nightmare because whereas modern day horrors can find bland, no-name actors, to act as fodder for the big nasty, here we are dealing with a light supernatural horror, where the 4 main characters really need to be able to hold their own on screen. The production can't really turn up the jump-out-of-your-seat elements to compensate, as it's not that type of film. Honeymoon director Leigh Janiak is behind the lens.
WARGAMES
With an upgrade in computer software, war technology and tactics, what would actually make a WarGames remake worthy, is if little skirmishes actually kicked off, before the nuclear threat scenario appeared. Drone attacks and the odd submarine battle could be used to show the seriousness of what this confused computer system intends to do.
With an upgrade in computer software, war technology and tactics, what would actually make a WarGames remake worthy, is if little skirmishes actually kicked off, before the nuclear threat scenario appeared. Drone attacks and the odd submarine battle could be used to show the seriousness of what this confused computer system intends to do.
| SPLASH | THE CRAFT | WARGAMES |
JUMANJI: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE
If there is one thing I can respect in a reboot, it's the willingness to be different from the original. The new Jumanji film (whose subtitle is not to be confused with the UK title for The Rundown) also starring Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, is a far cry away from the Robin Williams original. This time around, an old skool computer console, rather than a board game is the conduit to adventure. The 4 people whisked away to the jungle don't just land on a fantasy island full of immediate dangers, they also end up being avatars, that are nothing like their true selves. That premise alone is interesting and with a cast including Kevin Hart, Karen Gillian and Jack Black, on paper this looks good.
If there is one thing I can respect in a reboot, it's the willingness to be different from the original. The new Jumanji film (whose subtitle is not to be confused with the UK title for The Rundown) also starring Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, is a far cry away from the Robin Williams original. This time around, an old skool computer console, rather than a board game is the conduit to adventure. The 4 people whisked away to the jungle don't just land on a fantasy island full of immediate dangers, they also end up being avatars, that are nothing like their true selves. That premise alone is interesting and with a cast including Kevin Hart, Karen Gillian and Jack Black, on paper this looks good.
LOGAN'S RUN
Sometimes a Sci-Fi begs to be remade because of the new leaps in technology. Whereas it didn't make a blind bit of difference for Total Recall, I think Logan's Run could do with a modern version, that could also speak to the uber-vain, youth worshipping culture of today. Unfortunately several directors have been attached to the project...and then detached.
Sometimes a Sci-Fi begs to be remade because of the new leaps in technology. Whereas it didn't make a blind bit of difference for Total Recall, I think Logan's Run could do with a modern version, that could also speak to the uber-vain, youth worshipping culture of today. Unfortunately several directors have been attached to the project...and then detached.
ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT
Modern day war films such as Saving Private Ryan and Hacksaw Ridge have benefitted greatly from the cinematography of the original 1930s All Quiet On The Western Front and so it would be interesting to see if this project could once again advance cinematic war filming. Ex Vikings actor Travis Fimmel is supposed to be attached to the project, but nothing has been signed off.
Modern day war films such as Saving Private Ryan and Hacksaw Ridge have benefitted greatly from the cinematography of the original 1930s All Quiet On The Western Front and so it would be interesting to see if this project could once again advance cinematic war filming. Ex Vikings actor Travis Fimmel is supposed to be attached to the project, but nothing has been signed off.
| JUMANJI | LOGAN'S RUN | ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN... |
DROP DEAD FRED
Sort of like the UK version of Beetlejuice, DDF with the right 'Fred' could be a hoot. The writing would have to be spot on, as for all its wackiness, it's suppose to be a dark drama. The effects would obviously need a serious upgrade, but I forsee a lot of rebellious fun to be had. Russell Brand is supposed to star as Fred and that could definitely work.
Sort of like the UK version of Beetlejuice, DDF with the right 'Fred' could be a hoot. The writing would have to be spot on, as for all its wackiness, it's suppose to be a dark drama. The effects would obviously need a serious upgrade, but I forsee a lot of rebellious fun to be had. Russell Brand is supposed to star as Fred and that could definitely work.
SOAPDISH
If ever there was a time, that a film could speak to all the narcissistic going-ons, behind the scenes of a soaps and celebrity, now is that time. With the 21st century addition of social media and reality shows thrown into the mix, Soapdish for the modern generation could be a subversive look into the vanity of stars and the decadence and pressures that surround a hit show. This is another remake where the ensemble cast have to be absolutely amazing.
If ever there was a time, that a film could speak to all the narcissistic going-ons, behind the scenes of a soaps and celebrity, now is that time. With the 21st century addition of social media and reality shows thrown into the mix, Soapdish for the modern generation could be a subversive look into the vanity of stars and the decadence and pressures that surround a hit show. This is another remake where the ensemble cast have to be absolutely amazing.
FLIGHT OF THE NAVIGATOR
No news, no news.
No news, no news.
| DROP DEAD FRED | SOAPDISH | FLIGHT OF THE NAVIGATOR |
BILL & TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE
Not a reboot or remake, but the third instalment in the series. The plot? In the words of Keanu Reeves: “Basically, they’re supposed to write a song to save the world and they haven’t done that. The pressure of having to save the world, their marriages are falling apart, their kids are kind of mad at them, and then someone comes from the future and tells them if they don’t write the song it’s just not the world, it’s the universe. So they have to save the universe because time is breaking apart.” Well I'm In.
Not a reboot or remake, but the third instalment in the series. The plot? In the words of Keanu Reeves: “Basically, they’re supposed to write a song to save the world and they haven’t done that. The pressure of having to save the world, their marriages are falling apart, their kids are kind of mad at them, and then someone comes from the future and tells them if they don’t write the song it’s just not the world, it’s the universe. So they have to save the universe because time is breaking apart.” Well I'm In.
CLIFFHANGER
Cliffhanger, to me is a melodramatic action film I could only enjoy in parts. But in all fairness, the plot was fine and the action cool. My problem was with the violent, pantomime villains, some of which should have just twiddled their thin moustaches, rocked their heads back and cackled an evil laugh...just before kicking you in the face. Cliffhanger has been on the books for a while now and the producer who was allegedly attached to the project, Neil Moritz, has such a busy schedule - including Fast & Furious 9 and 10, that I don't know where he could fit this in.
Cliffhanger, to me is a melodramatic action film I could only enjoy in parts. But in all fairness, the plot was fine and the action cool. My problem was with the violent, pantomime villains, some of which should have just twiddled their thin moustaches, rocked their heads back and cackled an evil laugh...just before kicking you in the face. Cliffhanger has been on the books for a while now and the producer who was allegedly attached to the project, Neil Moritz, has such a busy schedule - including Fast & Furious 9 and 10, that I don't know where he could fit this in.
DON'T LOOK NOW
Perhaps this should have been in the bad idea list, but perhaps a remake could up the supernatural horror element, as this film only touches on that world, rather than throws you deep in it like The Conjuring. I would forget about trying to make too much of a meaningful drama and unashamedly go for the scares.
Perhaps this should have been in the bad idea list, but perhaps a remake could up the supernatural horror element, as this film only touches on that world, rather than throws you deep in it like The Conjuring. I would forget about trying to make too much of a meaningful drama and unashamedly go for the scares.
MEMENTO
I saw this film once and remember thinking that the construction was clever, but I just didn't enjoy the ride. It didn't make me feel or particularly root for the main protagonist, so perhaps a remake can really make us empathise with the lead. So far nobody is attached to the project.
I saw this film once and remember thinking that the construction was clever, but I just didn't enjoy the ride. It didn't make me feel or particularly root for the main protagonist, so perhaps a remake can really make us empathise with the lead. So far nobody is attached to the project.
| BILL & TED'S... | CLIFFHANGER | DON'T LOOK NOW |
THE ONES THAT ARE HERE!
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