Many have found ultimate contentment in the aforementioned set up, but I also believe that many people are not built for that format and rightly won't go against the feeling in their psyche. For those that moved into this modus operandi without any personal thought of an alternative existence, the realisation that they have just created their own prison without walls is a horrible awakening. As for the artist, I truly believe that we have to make a conscious choice earlier in life, way ahead of most vocations. We have to dig down deep to discover what really want as an artist, so we can set a truthful trajectory. Here we must detail the sacrifices we are going to have to make to become the artist we want to be.

Below is a summary of how I think we could view our main choices:
1) A complete forfeiting of family life for the pursuit of artist mastery. 
2) The want for the balance of a family life and the opportunity for significant creativity.
3) Art as an outlet/hobby with family life being the main desire/consideration.

"...knowing that it could be suicide to our creativity, we devote all our time and money to creation."

For some, the freedom to create at any time and any where is paramount to their life, and that liberty to do so would be put before all things and people. But for other artists, the duality of being a creative must be coupled with something greater, even if it is to be in tandem. In ones struggle to be significantly noticed as a creative force, it seems prevalent, that artists (male & female) have to make too many sacrifices, in order to have the time to create. And therefore, many miss out on opportunities of socialising, or deliberately forever delay their chance of promotion in social spheres, as our meagre circumstances deny us the route to forming steady relationships, engagements, marriage and kids.

Forfeiting the forming of a significant relationships, knowing that it could be suicide to our creativity, we devote all our time and money to creation, knowing that if we as men embarked in a relationship, that this same time and money would be put into crafting the relationship instead of our art. And especially in the early days where we don't often have the monies to sufficiently do both, something has to give. Hence why this article is a male affair because nowhere in any society I know of, is the female supposed to be the financial leader in the forming of a relationship. I am not saying that women can't or are not, but it is never expected.  

All these arrested interactions by men, who want a relationship can be likened to receiving mini razor blade cuts. Slowly stinging ourselves out of human existence, we eventually accumulate so much blood loss, that the use of plasters is completely useless. 'Hey world I'm bleeding and it's kinda self-inflicted'. Understand that the blood is our ranking in the public world of eligibility and right now we're looking very anaemic.

Speaking as a male, I wonder how many relationship opportunities other men have passed up on? They really wanted to wifey someone up, but they knew they couldn't afford to invest? And once again some poor lass is fobbed off, or a social engagement is denied us, for the the task of finishing off the next masterpiece that no one will probably care about. Consequently we are reminded of our own failure to launch successfully, as we see other males in our age group achieve success in their fields and find significant others. And of course mummy, daddy and our relatives will quite gladly remind us that we're getting older and that as a man we're supposed to be making a certain type of progress. More razor blade cuts.

Of course knowing the financial realities of a relationship can only scare you even more and all of a sudden the pride you took in your assets of being a good man and having an excellent artistic skills are no longer endearing to women as you get older. A man with a lesser collection of good qualities, but more in the way of money and a practical lifestyle, will lead to a coupling much faster than we could ever dream of.

But perhaps, just perhaps we 'not made it yet' artistic men are putting too much pressure on ourselves, maybe our view and understanding of what a woman wants is limited. Surely some women will understand our struggle, as they too are going through their own artistic saga. And some women might even enjoy the joint adventure of rising together.

Nothing is written in stone, I can't provide all the answers with the exception of saying; be aware of yourself and your true desire. Then as you engage with the world to find out what your deal in life is, engage with the world to find her who will accept you as you are.

Ray, What Do You Think? 

IK

Ray Crimson's Take...  

Imagine how hard it is, as a man to come across a lady you really like, who fortunately likes you right back. And yet everything that makes her a good catch, by comparison puts you in a bad light...

She has accepted you as you are, but for those looking in and drawing comparisons, you rank in the NO section. Potential in-laws are the stuff of nightmares and potentially the biggest auditions you'll face. They are looking at their daughter who is accomplished in her occupation, earns good money, has got a solid foot on the property ladder and is ready for a serious relationship. Then they are looking at you. A man who on the other side of the fence has a part time job that yes; gives you time to do your art, but no matter how impressive your art it is, potential and un-hired skill don't pay for dates...or anything else for that matter. If the positions were reversed no one would care as women aren't required to lead in finances when dealing with relationship matters even though plenty of women do.