The Death Of The 'He's Got Potential' Movement

For many years, I've heard these 3 words, this sentiment in conversation. It describes a man that is usually good and decent, but has not yet reached a certain status in life or work, to be the exact partner that 'she' wants. However, a new age has been ushered in and it's called the 'Dealing With What You Have Got era, as The 'He Has Potential' movement has been scheduled for execution and will be slain soon!

I get it. Really - I do. Life is hard and full of an infinite amount of choices, where the wrong decisions will waste your time at best or leave you broken and distraught at worst. In the choosing of a mate, with the sheer energy, logistics and social pressures involved, you tend to want to get this whole dance right the first time...However, let's be honest, to find a highly compatible partner these days, is like looking for a needle, in a bunch of needles, that has been thrown in the air.

​In ancient days, where society was very tribal (and in some cultures nothing has changed) a woman would have been constantly around the man, she would eventually choose. She would have been looking at all the qualities, of all the men in her tribe, monitoring their changes. Sub-consciously, there would have been an analysing of what type of 'potential' he was going to have and a watching of what positive attributes he displayed in and around the community. As they all grew up together, years of essential observation could lead her to a very informed decision, where making a choice would factor-in elements of survival and cultural ascension - the building blocks to a better best life. Nobody would aim to choose a mate, that was going to be useless and take you to the polar opposite of a rich life, the aim would be to choose a man with a knack for creating resources or dare I say it attaining - power.

"It might serve a person, to ask themselves a very important question in the whole area of 'he has potential' which is: If he never amounted to more than he was right now, would I be happy with him?"

In modern society it has now become an openly examined and a spoken about thing, that is, to rank a man's potential. It's a water cooler discussion point, where it is deduced which men are seemingly heading in the right direction, to clinch some sort of 'good' future, that would be agreeable with her. Well I am here to break up that party and perhaps save a few broken hearts and shattered dreams in the process, because the world is too volatile and dynamic to think that one man against the current system, is powerful enough to always come out and stay on top, no matter how hard he tries or his skill set. It might serve a person, to ask themselves a very important question, in the whole area of he has potential which is: 'if he never amounted to more than he was right now, would I be happy with him?'

If the answer is no, then your desire for him is not as strong as your like for his potential status in life. Potential is about lifestyle and aspirations and it is not a crime to want whoever your partner is, to be great at whatever he does. But then what is a partnership to you, in regards to the realm of marriage? Yes, he could surpass all your wildest expectations, but then he could be brought to his knees by unknown factors. Ultimately, your choice is always going to be a gamble, he, by himself, beyond what he does and owns, has to be enough for you, that you can accept him wholeheartedly. If he then goes on to achieve anything beyond the level you met him at, consider that a bonus. Alternatively, simply go and get that status you crave so dearly... Find that fully incarnated and living man, already living their full potential. There is no need for you to guess or wait for him to ascend. Another  point of view, could be that you become part of the building process. Imagine the terrific bond you would create working together as a team.

If you ever come across a man and truly feel that he is not good enough for you, so be it. Be honest with yourself and venture out to get the fully assembled model that is waiting for you...of course you just have to find him first and there is that little thing of he having to like you in return.