1. That you can only love 1 person at a time...
Absolute Nonsense! You can choose to only love one person at a time, but there is no automatic, biological, physiological or neurological state, that fashions you to bond with just one person. There is no other inter-personal interactivity, in a professional or social capacity in life, where anyone believes or practices this. Yet, when it comes to this one area - our significant other, we spring this lie which is born of insecurity, as if it validates the realness of the love. What I believe people are confusing; are the rules of a monogamous relationship with the spirit of monogamy. Yes, we are to be held accountable for staying within the rules of fidelity - no doubt, but don't confuse that with the actual capacity to 'romantically' love multiple people, just because it makes you feel better.

2. That an expensive engagement ring signifies how much he loves you...
There is a rule...no sorry, there are many rules, because people keep making up more fiction to pile on top of the existing nonsense. So how much money you are supposed to spend on an engagement ring? Is it a month's wage? 3 Months worth of wages? No! Give everything you've got! Now I jest, but what does the financial correlation mean in reality? 'Has every woman, that has been engaged and given an expensive ring, had the perfect marriage? Has divorce been averted because of a ring's price? Has infidelity, lies and all the other negative circumstances that can happen in a marriage been avoided because of an expensive ring - NO! So let us be honest, the ring purchase is about being given and owning expensive jewelry. If you want to know how much a man loves you, look at the way he treats you person to person. Gifts can signify certain considerations, but it is NOT about the £ value. Whilst you're boasting about the new piece of jewelry he has given you to your friends, he's busy giving one of your other friends a gift that should only be for you.

3. That dating has to be a lavish production...
If I've said it once, I've said it at least 7 times - "You can entertain yourself into a relationship that shouldn't be". The purpose of dating is to find out about somebody in a social context. I agree that dating shouldn't be an obvious interview, but ultimately that's what it is. If on your dates, you are constantly doing amazing, entertaining and distracting activities, chances are you're not really finding the time to have meaningful conversations and measure your compatibility. It shouldn't take you 8 dates to find out that the person you are seeing has 4 children, 2 ex-wives, is an ex-convict and use to be a different gender. What pleasure you garner on dates can build over time, as you start to see your separate lives come together.  

4. Saving and changing people...
Don't look at your new partner as a project. Yes, it is nice to see how you can help someone, but they are not under your care and authority. Having the idea to change a person's core way of being into something you prefer and believing that they will just do it because they are in love is ridiculous. If they are bad when they met you, your influence may set them off, to seek a more righteous path to be worthy of you. But if they are bad and you can see they have no intention of reforming, the glory of love is not suddenly going to do it.

5. That your partner could never hurt you...
The closer you are to someone, the easier it is for them to touch you mentally and emotionally. I am not going to mention physical hurt because this should never be a frequent case, genuine accidents do happen, but not every week. In the other cases, opening yourself up to another person leaves you vulnerable to your partner, it's as if they now have a direct line to your heart and nerves and they can say or do insensitive things completely unaware, faster than anyone else. And boy does it hurt when it's this person that cuts you, but it also makes perfect sense, since your bond together is much more entangled and intimate. We should look to minimise the damage with communication after the fact/incident, not 5 months down the line, when an unrelated argument happens. We don't want a repeat of insensitivity, so we should, speak when it happens. Unfortunately, many of us will hold a grudge, thinking that if he/she truly loved me they should just know...

6. The perfect package...
Life is dynamic and one's achievements and position are not based on how good we are. If you are not mature enough to split a person's integrity, character etc away from their financial position and career, then I would challenge your emotional intelligence. If you truly want the absolute best of both worlds, already formulated and complete, then prepare yourself for an epic quest. In every willing person, there is room for growth and improvement as a person and in career, but even so, a person's social or professional status is not going to comfort you in your greatest hour of need. Their position at work is not going to mean much to you, if it takes them away from you, especially in a time of crisis. Possessions, status, money and fame don't love or nurture anybody. They never have and they never will because they are all soulless. See the heart of a person and work from there.

7. That a relationship is a service for your life...
This is probably the most abhorrent out of the 7, as this doesn't really have anything to do with the positive side of romance. Mistaken as love, this is simply about your partner existing to fulfil your every whim and desire. People who think like this shouldn't be in relationships, as the don't have the emotional intelligence to navigate another person's feelings. But on a darker note, the person that actually obliges your every wish, may have their own expectations of you and here there is the potential for a destructive power dynamic that shouldn't be encouraged.

It is in my opinion, that women have been afforded a healthy psychological advantage over men. In the realm of emotional maturity, women are allowed to feel the entire gamut of emotional feelings and not be penalised or ridiculed for it. In fact, women are encouraged to let it all out, to be emotionally vulnerable and honest moment by moment. But on the male side, many men are told, discouraged and even reprimanded for showing any vulnerability. This chastising often starts from childhood and I believe this is a major cause for his toxic behaviours that arise in teen and adulthood.

Example 1: Dealing With Loss
​Imagine losing a close relative. In the time of mourning when many emotions are bursting to come out, there are obvious ones that should be at the top of the emotional tree. But some men are not equipped to deal with grief in a normal way, because showing weakness and being vulnerable was drilled out of them an eon ago. Therefore, a fragile mind by-passes the normal emotional route and when having to draw from their depleted 'alphabet' they end up exhibiting the wrong emotions. Sadness and sorrow are replaced with anger and violence or other reactions that don't make sense. Anger will feature a lot in the weak-minded, because it gives them a false sense of strength. And fear and shame seem to disappear when in a rage.

Example 2: Dealing With Rejection
One of the most common stories we hear when it comes to toxic masculinity caused by male fragility and then followed by ultimate toxic masculinity, comes of a rejected sexual/romantic advance. How can you in one breath, be professing to a complete stranger on the street, how much you like them, how beautiful you think they are and what you would do for their life. To then in the next breath aggressively start shouting at them, call them every foul name under the sun and in too many cases, spit, grab and seriously assault them. Women have even been run over with vehicles and killed for simply saying 'no'. When we face rejection from anything in life that we want, yes, it is normal to feel a little bit disappointed, but a man with a normal mindstate would move on. In the toxic male, the fragile mindset crumbles and their disappointment is registered as shame and dishonour. How dare you say no to me, I am worthy and I will let you know this! How deluded and warped must your brain be, to actually attack a stranger for refusing your advances.

Example 3: Sexual Harassment Through Patriarchal Entitlement
We all accept that in western civilisation, especially Europe, that it is usually the man that pursues the woman in and and around dating and relationships. Hand on heart, I think most women reading this can attest to not having ever made the first move in these social situations. So we understand that men, normally move towards women. But at what point did men think that it was alright to make intimate, sexually contact with women? The really scary bit, is that too many  really think this is the done thing! Whereas on the other side of the spectrum you have men who don't even have the nerve to walk up to a woman and talk to her, because they are too shy or don't think they are worthy. The range of the male psyche is vast and should never be thought of as homogenous, not all men are the same, as a man that bypasses all formality and decency and goes straight into committing a criminal offence, cannot be put in the same category as Shy Steven. Another problematic theme that can stem from this, for Shy Steven's is that these men can be criticized for not being 'man enough' and told to 'man up' and to be confident by men and women. Sometimes there is a reinforcement of bravado and hyper masculinity that shouldn't be encouraged and we should let the quieter, docile man just be. The results in attempted 'manning ups' vary, as some learn to find the right balance in their confidence and expectations - meaning they can approach women respectively and deal with whatever outcome. Whilst others are taught or encouraged by other heathens and the cycle of abuse, seen as charm and confidence continues. 

Parents / Family: Your introduction into this world and what is expected of you, comes first and foremost from your kin.
Friends: Peer pressure to conform is a big deal during your school and college years.
Authority Figures: Your coach, your teacher, whomever, has a direct emotional line to how you perform in many areas of your life.
Celebrities: Idolising certain 'heroes' can have you mimicking them, it may sound silly, but if you've lost all sense of yourself, you may model a version of you, based on somebody else.
Born Of Self: ​It might be a rare occurrence, but it is not hard to believe, that some men receive all the goodness from the world and still turn out bad. Unresolved issues with members from the first 3 in the list can also lead to this behaviour.

If your psychological coping faculties are defunct, it only stands to reason, that eventually you could have some sort of mental health issue. And according to one particular psychiatrist - Frank Pittman, men who follow this path harm themselves reducing their lifespans and are subject to a greater incidence of violent death. Depression, stress, problems with self-esteem, body image crisis and substance abuse are commonly found within these type of males. I think it is way past the time to implement solutions to create equality in the mind first, but both genders have to be willing to give up standard paradigms, not just the negative ones, but the ones that sometimes work in our favour. There are actions in male-female interaction that we say are the male domain or the female domain and there is no reason why they can't be everyone's domain. When there is no gender above another, when we get rid of certain assigned gender norms, this will seep into society, then men can relax, be calm, be weak, just be and not have to prove or dominate anything.