Swiped Left! Why Your Tinder Profile Is Failing You

I may be brand new to Tinder, but after my first day on the app, I could quite easily see why people were either not getting the responses that they wanted or continuing to get responses from the wroooong people. Here are 18 suggestions on how to attract the 'Right' swipe.

Before we get into the essential list, here are 3 things to consider...

The 3 Second Rule...

Tinder's biggest sell...no, that's wrong. Your biggest selling point on this dating app is your image via your pictures. Nobody is going to be motivated to swipe right or read what you have to say, if your pictures put people off or just don't resonate. So, if you only remember one thing, keep this in mind; you only have 1 to 3 seconds to make an impression - yes! that's how fast our brains work in deciding - no, yes, maybe, hell no! or yes baby! 

A Little Experiment

Go and take a look at your pictures right now - go on! Now try and be as objective as you possibly can and imagine that you are looking at these images for the very first time. Would You Be Impressed? Yes? No? Understand, that when I say "images" I am not talking about your looks or physique, I am talking about several clear displays of you and your friendliness, availability, enticement, relatability and a willingness to connect. If your imagery is on the money, someone that isn't even interested in you romantically or sexually, might still feel compelled to look at the rest of your photos out of admiration or curiosity.

Disgust At First Sight

In dating psychology, it is often cited that men are visual creatures; needing to see the 'goods' so that they can be suitably aroused, but let's be honest - so are women. The only real main difference between men and women when it comes to visual perception for the context of the dating game, is that men have been tasked with making the initial enquiry. And so when it comes to approaching a person (due to a physical attraction) the male gaze has always been the one considered and made out to be the important one. But realistically, women also have their own set of visual confirmation needs too...if they could just see our fingernails and shoes in advance, a lot of chosen men would have ended up on the left side heap for sure!

Tinder U is a feature that makes it easier to connect with other students around you.

How To Improve Your Tinder Profile Pt.1 - Your Pictures

A) Your Main Picture; should not display you standing with anybody else. Why? Because if you are standing with someone else and let's say for starters that person is of the same sex, the first thing people must think is: which one are you?...and...oh no - in going through the photo carouseI to check, we've discovered that you are not the hot one we hoped for. Listen, you already have enough competition on the app, so stop making your life even harder. Psychologically, who stands out in a duo or group photo varies, but since the context is dating and relationships, by default we will immediately pinpoint the one that is most attractive to us. When it turns out that they are not you, the disappointment drives your desirability down. Now, If the picture of you is with a member of the opposite sex, then congratulations, our (hetrosexual) brains have automatically envisioned you being with someone else and if there is any form of touching, that makes it even worse - see where I'm going. When it comes to what I have termed "buddy" photos, I for one found myself eventually, immediately and automatically swiping left because I could no longer be bothered to workout who I was supposed to be assessing.

B) Bad Quality Photos; but do I even need to explain? It's either a case of not being able to see you properly through blurred, degraded images or a problem with distancing. Why are you so far away in the shot? Or why are you so close? Why is the photo so busy? This is not Facebook. We want clear identifiable photos to see what you look like, not how wonderful the mountain you are standing next to is. Why are you in the dark or in shadows?! If you are going to have an arty shot, then really think about the context of the app and let the impact hit correctly to sell you and not a holiday destination. There is a reason that passport and modelling photos (see Z cards) require you to have a neutral or clear pose, people need to be able to clearly identify what you really look like. Beyond that, have at least one photo that shows your teeth...

C) Image-Manipulation through heavy make-up, the prolific use of filters and other graphic modification tools, is one of the biggest mistakes you can make on any dating app. The moment you display a photo that doesn't look how you are going to appear in real life, you are setting yourself up for the worst, in-person rejection. I for one will not be willing to take the risk of a horrible reveal, so I see a filter and I gladly swipe left with no regrets. Please hear me when I say this: STOP USING FILTERS! and STOP USING FILTERS!

D) The Full Body Shot; is just as essential as the honest face profile. People who only show shoulders up can be perceived to be hiding their bodies and if you've happened to say in your bio that "I'm a curvy woman" or "I'm a muscular man" this is an opportunity missed. Whatever you say you are physically, show it. I have been stuck on a few profiles, including someone who swiped right for me because their photos were just close-ups of their faces.

E) One Photo, really? If you think that posting one photo is enough, then it better be the best and most strategically revealing photo in the whole gaaaard damn world. Showing off your face and body multiple times, with different angles conveys a whole heap of essential information. If you are unwilling, scared or can't be bothered for whatever reason to do this, then your bio better be a Pulitzer award-winning piece of prose.

F) Photos That Are Not Of You; memes, declarations, inspirational quotes, your knees, a patch of land, your slippers - please, nobody cares. These things are impersonal and even if you think they are accurately describing your values or personality, they will never replace another photo of you that could have clinched a person's interest in you and made them swipe right. Everytime you don't post a photo of you, you cut your viability down. Multiple photos showing your body and face is the equivalence to buying 9 lottery tickets - it gives you better odds than just buying one.

G) Photos with pets and drinks have been done to death, it's not the worst thing in the world, but I'd rather see another feature of you. Bottles and glasses obscuring your face as you drink from them and action shots (especially ones where we can't see your face and body) of you doing stuff should be part of your written bio instead. Be original.

H) The Thing That You Are Insecure About; may just be the thing that somebody is in to, sometimes to the point of a fetish. You will only give yourself anxiety hiding what you know has to be declared later on.

I) You Have Not One Single Photo Of Your Face; because you are married or involved and are looking to do some side-business, shady shenanigans...I suggest you use another website or app that specialises in this...or not - but what's the point on this app? 

The Four Essential Photos:
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1. Filter free, light to no make-up head shot.


2. Same as 1. but with teeth showing.


3. Full body shot - angle front.


4. Full body shot - angle side.

Tinder U is a feature that makes it easier to connect with other students around you.

How To Improve Your Tinder Profile Pt.2 - Your Bio

A) No Bio! This is your chance to tell everyone who you are and what you want, this non-effort coupled with bad photos is a waste of cyberspace and everybody's time - why are you even on here? And, if people end up deciding what they want you for, you can't rightly get angry because if you had written something down, then they would have known what you were looking for and more importantly, what you weren't.

B) OK, So Tinder Can Attract Some Undesirables and it can get frustrating having to constantly deal with a certain type, but negative messaging in response, is still a turn-off. Do not dedicate any part of your bio to chastising types of people who have gotten on your nerves. Messaging like this: "If you're here just for sex, then don't even bother!" "I don't like...I don't want". "My kids come first, don't even try to compete". "I've got my s**t together so you should too". "Does any man actually want a relationship or just a f**k buddy". All of these comments show your frustration and anger and are all negative. Say things in the positive that just so happen to exclude these types of people. "I am looking for a long term relationship" says I am not going to entertain one night stands and hook-ups. "I have an affluent jetsetter lifestyle and am looking for someone to match" says you are looking for a man of means who has probably done very well in his career. This is where having a good bio can do a lot of the work for you. Also, height requirements and age boundaries added here can save you from having more of your time wasted.

C) Lack Of Originality; "I like taking long walks/hikes" is yawn inducing as it would apparently seem so do 20,000,000 other people. Use the "Passions" section to cite your interests, then use your actual description to detail things that no one could ever really guess about you. What is it about you that requires an explanation? 

D) Don't Be Half In, Half Out; comments like "I don't really use this app" or "I will probably delete this app" all this says is you can't be bothered or you use to be bothered but in never getting the results you wanted - you got frustrated. Tinder is not a one-shop, solve all solution, it can be part of your dating quest, but it shouldn't be your whole game. 

E) Similar to B), Stop Moaning About Why People Are On Tinder; as long as fellow app users are not lying about who they are and why they are here, everyone has the right to search for what they want. If their 'wants' annoy you, keep it moving - you don't have to get involved. If you match with someone and it turns out they were being deceitful or not being straight-forward, then say to them with immediacy that you want different things, unmatch them and move on.

F) ​When You Say You Are Hard-Working, what does that mean in relationship terms? That you are dedicated to work and have less time for romance? That a relationship will always come second - what exactly? I have seen a lot of people write this as if it is some sort of virtue in relation. When you write something down, think about how the reader has to interpret it for the context.

G) Listen To The General Consensus Of A Certain Common Desire; women will often say in their bios, "If you have your shirt off in a picture don't bother to..." fellas, that's your cue to keep your clothes on. But in general, we all need to start selling ourselves based on the universal principles that people are looking for and done correctly we should match with people on the same page. Another example also coming from the women's side, is the desire for a man to be taller than them. If the height difference is not wildly different, then you might take a chance, but also consider that she might wear heels and towering over you is not a look she will like.

H) Stop Lying About Your Age, or about anything. Some of you can't get away with this type of lie and it makes you look ridiculous.

I) I Have X Amount Of Children And They Are My World; unintended translation, "You will always be second in my life". Then again, if we couple that with "I work really hard" maybe, just maybe, a man looking for a serious relationship, doesn't see much space for him to fit in to your filled-up life. It's good to mention that you have children, but a declaration of them being absolutely everything to you kinda serves as a barrier, because if they are everything, then you don't need anybody else. 

If it takes you 12 days to write a perfect profile - so be it! Treat you profile like it could secure you your dream job. Show quality, be positive and and write specific.