For years I've often wondered why I didn't know a single woman that fully liked her body and it occurred to me that perhaps the obsession and constant policing from society at large, would drive any person to be overly critical about themselves. With such a razor sharp focus and a list of penalties to inflict and ridicule a person if they don't fit the annoyingly mutable standards, it's no wonder that some people have lost their minds in the attempt to be 'beautiful'. I say "person" rather than woman in the second instance because I have to acknowledge, that even within the male sector, though the gaze isn't just focussed so much on how we physically look, there is that pressure too. I myself have been turned down before for not being sexy enough or I should say a "sex on legs" type. But for the most part, men are measured on who we are amongst other men and what expensive things we own which is an ancient signal to being a resourceful provider, an attribute and ritual often found to work the same way in the animal kingdom. Men with a certain status are revered, whilst women with a certain body type (per culture) are praised and yes, this is initially to do with finding the best mate to procreate with, but beyond our hardwired biological responses to each other, we have to admit, we have gone crazy about our physical features and women receive and are forced to live with the worst of this physical mania. 

So where does the idea, of the ideal female body come from? I mean there are approximately 3.7billion women in the world, how do you decide from all the shapes and sizes that a body can have, that this particular form is the number one. And more importantly which council of nitwits are making these decisions? My belief for any standard existing at all, is for reason of profit, as there are products and services, within the range of beauty, fashion and body hacks that cover the ENTIRE female body - I mean literally from head to toe. Men in comparison are not held hostage to that part of their image so vehemently in comparison. So why is it that I as a man don't feel the need to have long eyelashes to seem more handsome? Because a man's natural delusion and path to being loved doesn't lie in the same box as a woman's. Our delusion is usually about a display of wealth and ownership - driving a nice car or wearing an expensive watch or having a good job apparently makes us somebody, that is how we make our body beautiful, those are our eyelashes.

It would seem that within the realm of womanhood, it is extremely important to sew discontent and destabilise any neutrality about the body. Every part of her must be subject to baring a fault that can be remedied with a product. Destroy her self-esteem and then offer the temporary and costly solutions to build it up. The 'assets' of a woman must be broken down with acute purpose so that there are several avenues of revenue that come from her: hair, eyes, ears, nose, lips, cheeks, chin, throat, neck, breasts, mid back, arms (biceps, triceps and elbows), hands, nails, hips, stomach/waist, bum, vagina, thighs, knees, feet, toes and skin. Would I be wrong in saying that there is a product or service (away from health care), that exists for all these areas of the body, that supposedly will make you look better? And just for fun, ask yourself if there are male equivalents. From panty girdles and wonder bras, to botox and contour techniques and plastic surgery. Everyone that markets these products, has to get you to buy into the false fact that you, as you are, are not good enough or you're just okay, but you could be improved. These manufactures are not providing solutions to real problems, they are creating the 'problems' and selling you a remedy.

The fashion industry has a similar practice that also works on low self-esteem. If you don't feel that you are of worth, then a highly praised label or item attached to your body is a step to upgrading it. And if a celebrity wears or endorses it, then the power-up is of a greater magnitude. The vanity of human beings knows no bounds, how do we know this? Well the most expensive belt in the world costs $249,000 (£192,246). People, hear me: if I was a billionaire, I wouldn't by a belt for over £20 unless it had some sort of application on it, on par with Batman's utility belt. But this is where our desperation fails us, we want to be accepted, loved and admired, but our fear of that absence drives us to operating within a matrix that is actually bonkers. Occasionally, people escape from the matrix and when they declare that there is another 'world' that we can all inhabit, free of pressure and shame, that person often gets ridiculed. You know I'm not making this up because you know about Alicia Keys who transitioned to being more natural with her face, dealing with her own issues surrounding her body and she got lambasted for it - mostly by women. How can you have a problem with someone who wants to display the face they were born with or rock the hair that naturally comes out of their own scalp? Like I said - bonkers.

FEEDING FEAR INTO THE PSYCHE
​Where did the idea of the beach body come from? This one type of body that is permissible to be seen semi-naked. If you type in "Beach Body" on Google, you will find books, videos, online courses, fitness apps all ready to get you looking good...for a price. The beach body is code for 'good' 'acceptable' 'admired' 'loved'. In fact replace "beach" with the four alternatives and tell me if those sentiments are not what is trying to be expressed as the selling point. The truth is, there is no beach body, summer body, there is just the body. If you only workout and eat properly seasonally, to look better whatever the hell that is to you, then you have no real love for your body, what you have is the fear and contempt of being criticised or ridiculed. Ergo your painful, frustrating seasonal transformational missions are actually for the sake of other people, not yourself. The moment you give up on everybody else's standard and truly find your own, you'll find happiness and contentment through your freedom. I know, I know it sounds corny as hell, but as Chris Cornell sang "If you are free, you'll never see the walls."

A life lesson about those who built a foundation that you may plant a house on...