"By 2030, 45% of working women aged 25-44 in the United States will be single. That will be the largest share in history, according to research by Morgan Stanley using data by the Bureau Of Labor Statistics". We ask the question why? Our Modern Dating Position If you are in your late 30s to early/mid 40s, then I would say that you/we are only the second (and third) generation to move within a dating-relationship matrix that is only about 55 years old. This means we are somewhat still undergoing an on-going, ever-changing experiment with 'new' power dynamics forming and being reshaped all the time. One of the oddities of western societies modern outlook; is that we still continue to draw on bits and pieces from old patriarchal systems (Regency, Victorian, Edwardian) and unsuccessfully combine these old modes with newer ideas from different waves of feminism and intersectional civil rights. How We Are Working Our Dating Scene Is Kinda Haphazard This mish-mash of values has confused the playing field no end and the standards and preferences pic'n'mix approach to dating seems to have proponents drawing on what is selfishly advantageous to them, rather than advantageous to the relationship as a whole. I would say that many of the current outlooks and conventions (especially in the States) associated with women's freedom (independence) are now actually closer to ideas of separation and often, if a union is wanted after having been submerged in those waters for too long, ideas of what a relationship is supposed to be, sound like a transactional exchange of services through warped entitlement. This is perhaps why many of us are finding the relationship game unnecessarily hard or even pointless, as working together seems to be based on heavy inequality - the complete opposite of the original aim. Impending Doom Due To Selfishness The benefits of patriarchy and the freedoms of feminism are being brought together for selfish gain, creating a confusing state in which to operate - even if you don't willingly or heavily subscribe to either. The reality is; that in this age we have the option to customise our relationships in the most unique beneficial ways, never granted to any other time period (I think) but for some reason, this has actually led to relationship retrograde now sprinkled with a bit of malice and a lot of uncooperation.
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Women have always been up for it...but now the once lackadaisical man is getting onboard like Indiana Jones and seeing the benefits of the organised dating event. THE NEW AGE OF ORGANISED DATING - THE SOCIAL MIXER Over the years, the speed dating event has had to evolve in name and format. For me, the ye olde style of speed dating always conjures up imagery of people sitting uncomfortably behind squashed tables and chairs. Each person is doing their best to try 'sell' themselves to a complete stranger, before their time runs out. With a feeling, more akin to a job interview, rather than a social gathering, very often a person would having to move on to the next encounter, just as the conversation got interesting. I imagine that it was these factors that played a part in formatting speed dating events differently, as many new gen organisers, in and around this industry, have radically developed a new UX. They saw the folly in the old method and not only changed the game, they also changed the name. What they now offer, is a greater, more rounded experience...essentially, speed dating is dead...but has arisen to be so much more. MY OWN EXPERIENCE Personally, I have only been to a singles mixer under one brand: LOVE JONES and it was only on my second visit, that I actually got involved with somebody. So okay, it didn't last, but I realised something monumentally important back then, especially for a semi-recluse like me. In those 2 mixers alone, I had the opportunity to talk to more women in 2 hours, with the purpose of potentially starting a relationship, than I had in the last 5 years. Think about the intelligent design of a social mixer - how often are you going to be in a room, where: a) Everybody is present for the common goal of finding a relationship (or something of the sort). b) Everybody will be open to your initial (and polite) advances. c) As a man you're actually allowed to express interest in more than one woman, within the same building. d) As a woman you're actually allowed to express interest - period. e) The demographic has been cultivated to suit your type in advance. Sounds like a no brainer - right? WHAT GOES ON? Now, I have been sworn to secrecy in regards to what will take place on the night, but I can assure you that there is a very natural process to the evening's proceedings. You face no pressure or uncomfortable scenarios in a mixer and for someone like me, who can be shy, that is a big deal. I cannot stress the importance of the 'Ice Breakers' part of the evening. For a singles mixer, this part is vital. This is the segment that will give you the opportunity and confidence to talk to everyone in a group framework, before having to deal with the one-to-one situation. Get there for the start or end up having to put in more work later on. BRING YOUR 'A' GAME I was going to write a list of do's and don'ts, but I think the video below illustrates a perfect list of faux pas not to commit, when you sit in front of a person and you're trying to find out about them. Have a good time and remember this is supposed to be fun! I can hear some of you already."Not another one! I've yet to check out all the existing numpties that are already harassing me, on the apps I have got!" Well take heart single person. It would seem that the growing fashion for dating apps is now for quality over quantity. Coffee Meets Bagel is the brainchild of 3, South Korean born sisters; Arum, Dawoon and Soo Kang. Now natives of New York City, they have seen that the mega metropolis, with its population of over 8million people, presents challenges for the right people to meet each other. Looking at their own predicament, the sisters 3 have created an app, where once again Facebook is the central connecting point to profiles of a potential romantic match up. HOW IT WORKS Everyday at noon, a profile match is sent to your phone...Yes I said a profile, singular - as everybody that is sent to you is considered carefully in relation to you. If 24 hours pass and you haven't given the go ahead, the profile expires. In this method the inventors have now created a hub where you have to be somewhat straight forward in your approach. And since these profiles are friends of friends, a sullied reputation is an easy thing to garner if you're going to mess people around and be a complete idiot. People talk. Guiding Principles To Coffee Meets Bagels Are: It would seem that as a business venture, Coffee Meets Bagel has hit the right G spot. In a app sector that is hardly starving, the company has already received a buyout offer of $30million. Opting to receive financing instead, they ladies have acquired $7.8million, from a variety of businesses. You can be assured that this app is going to take off in ways that others have not. Highly accomplished in their individual respective fields, I am looking forward to their next invention. MORE DATING APPS Click Me |
Having graduated from the Home Page, RC and IK are now embarking on their own blogging adventures to examine the world of social curiosities and romantic anthropology.
Ray Crimson
Love Detective Ishida Khan Life Warrior Archives
May 2021
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