​If you are in your late 30s to early/mid 40s, then I would say that you/we are only the second (and third) generation to move within a dating-relationship matrix that is only about 55 years old. This means we are somewhat still undergoing an on-going, ever-changing experiment with 'new' power dynamics forming and being reshaped all the time. One of the oddities of western societies modern outlook; is that we still continue to draw on bits and pieces from old patriarchal systems (Regency, Victorian, Edwardian) and unsuccessfully combine these old modes with newer ideas from different waves of feminism and intersectional civil rights.

THE NEW AGE OF ORGANISED DATING - THE SOCIAL MIXER
Over the years, the speed dating event has had to evolve in name and format. For me, the ye olde style of speed dating always conjures up imagery of people sitting uncomfortably behind squashed tables and chairs. Each person is doing their best to try 'sell' themselves to a complete stranger, before their time runs out. With a feeling, more akin to a job interview, rather than a social gathering, very often a person would having to move on to the next encounter, just as the conversation got interesting. I imagine that it was these factors that played a part in formatting speed dating events differently, as many new gen organisers, in and around this industry, have radically developed a new UX. They saw the folly in the old method and not only changed the game, they also changed the name. What they now offer, is a greater, more rounded experience...essentially, speed dating is dead...but has arisen to be so much more.

MY OWN EXPERIENCE
Personally, I have only been to a singles mixer under one brand: LOVE JONES and it was only on my second visit, that I actually got involved with somebody. So okay, it didn't last, but I realised something monumentally important back then, especially for a semi-recluse like me. In those 2 mixers alone, I had the opportunity to talk to more women in 2 hours, with the purpose of potentially starting a relationship, than I had in the last 5 years. Think about the intelligent design of a social mixer - how often are you going to be in a room, where:

a) Everybody is present for the common goal of finding a relationship (or something of the sort).
b) Everybody will be open to your initial (and polite) advances.
c) As a man you're actually allowed to express interest in more than one woman, within the same building.
d) As a woman you're actually allowed to express interest - period.
e) The demographic has been cultivated to suit your type in advance.

Sounds like a no brainer - right?

WHAT GOES ON?
Now, I have been sworn to secrecy in regards to what will take place on the night, but I can assure you that there is a very natural process to the evening's proceedings. You face no pressure or uncomfortable scenarios in a mixer and for someone like me, who can be shy, that is a big deal. I cannot stress the importance of the 'Ice Breakers' part of the evening. For a singles mixer, this part is vital. This is the segment that will give you the opportunity and confidence to talk to everyone in a group framework, before having to deal with the one-to-one situation. Get there for the start or end up having to put in more work later on.

Coffee Meets Bagel is the brainchild of 3, South Korean born sisters; Arum, Dawoon and Soo Kang. Now natives of New York City, they have seen that the mega metropolis, with its population of over 8million people, presents challenges for the right people to meet each other. Looking at their own predicament, the sisters 3 have created an app, where once again Facebook is the central connecting point to profiles of a potential romantic match up.

HOW IT WORKS
Everyday at noon, a profile match is sent to your phone...Yes I said a profile, singular - as everybody that is sent to you is considered carefully in relation to you. If 24 hours pass and you haven't given the go ahead, the profile expires. In this method the inventors have now created a hub where you have to be somewhat straight forward in your approach. And since these profiles are friends of friends, a sullied reputation is an easy thing to garner if you're going to mess people around and be a complete idiot. People talk.

It would seem that as a business venture, Coffee Meets Bagel has hit the right G spot. In a app sector that is hardly starving, the company has already received a buyout offer of $30million.

​Opting to receive financing instead, they ladies have acquired $7.8million, from a variety of businesses. You can be assured that this app is going to take off in ways that others have not. 

Highly accomplished in their individual respective fields, I am looking forward to their next invention.

No one will deny that looks, attraction and an aesthetically pleasing demeanour are important to forming an interest in a potential mate. But in the hunt for love, some have taken the need for their partner to have the optimum appearance (whatever that is to them) and the opulent lifestyle that their intended should be living, way too far. We as a society which is constantly bombarded with the imagery of glamour and the often associated fame, have seemingly come to expect, that this lifestyle should be afforded us, with no real reason...deserved or otherwise. We are nit-picking and acting like spoilt kids, running a social software programme, that filters out what is supposedly not cool, because 'cool' and 'popular' are the social currency of the times that really matter. We dislike elements about people, that in the grand scheme of things, will not aid in the attempt to form and sustain a relationship and as the song says "you can't always get what you want." But for those who haven't heard those lyrics, it seems that all that they want, is all that they are aiming for - well good luck. ​The following are some stupid reasons for rejection on initial contact or after a few dates.

WHY MEN REJECT 
Success: He finds out how much money she makes and it's more than he does. This makes him feel emasculated, which of course is one of the worst feelings a man can have whilst being in a relationship. So of course he won't venture forward. It's the 21st century son! If you are looking for a decent woman, who works, has good character and skills (the things that you supposedly look for in a partner) then you are very likely going to find someone who is also accomplished in her field and earning the due reward for it.

Physicality: She doesn't have the body of your absolute ideal...in fact, for you, most women don't have that body. However you continue to look for some myth of a figure that only exists in your head...or a lads magazine - once the model has received 4 hours of airbrushing. Start a new mantra "She Is Good Enough".

Forthcoming Attitude: A Woman that can lay all her cards on the table and knows what she wants, can scare the be-hay-zeus out of some men, though I use the noun men loosely. Women are wrongfully coached not to do this, where as, I think if a man can handle this type of conversation, he should be considered mature and a contender.

Extreme Independence: Men want to be significant in their ladies life, if she is so busy doing things that don't require them to help or even do something, independent of her input, then some men start to feel obsolete. When a man can't see his role in your life, he won't bother following his desire. Think of a wookie needing to win at chess.

 UNIVERSAL

• You don't like how they dress or you detest a particular fashion element that they love.
• You find out that they have never taken part in one or any of your biggest interests and don't intend to either.
• Mildly differing politics
• They don't go on holiday every year
• You don't like their nationality

Use the above photos to honestly build your partner and you will quickly learn what your focus is.
View the photos below to re-craft your perception.