THE NEW AGE OF ORGANISED DATING - THE SOCIAL MIXER
Over the years, the speed dating event has had to evolve in name and format. For me, the ye olde style of speed dating always conjures up imagery of people sitting uncomfortably behind squashed tables and chairs. Each person is doing their best to try 'sell' themselves to a complete stranger, before their time runs out. With a feeling, more akin to a job interview, rather than a social gathering, very often a person would end up having to move on, just as the conversation got interesting. I imagine that it was these factors that played a part in the new formatting of events, as many new gen organisers, in and around this industry, have radically developed a new UX. They saw the folly in the old method and not only changed the game, they also changed the name. What they now offer, is a greater, rounded experience. Essentially, speed dating is dead...but has arisen to be so much more.

MY OWN EXPERIENCE
Personally, I have only been to a singles mixer under one brand: LOVE JONES and it was only on my second visit, that I actually got involved with somebody. So okay, it didn't last, but I realised something monumentally important back then, especially for a semi-recluse like me. In those 2 mixers alone, I had the opportunity to talk to more women in 2 hours, with the purpose of potentially starting a relationship, than I had in the last 5 years. Think about the intelligent design of a social mixer - how often are you going to be in a room, where:

a) Everybody is present for the common goal of finding a relationship (or something of the sort).
b) Everybody will be open to your initial (and polite) advances.
c) As a man you're actually allowed to express interest in more than one woman, within the same building.
d) As a woman you're actually allowed to express interest - period.
e) The demographic has been cultivated to suit your type in advance.

Sounds like a no brainer - right?

WHAT GOES ON?
Now, I have been sworn to secrecy in regards to what will take place on the night, but I can assure you that there is a very natural process to the evening's proceedings. You face no pressure or uncomfortable scenarios in a mixer and for someone like me, who can be shy, that is a big deal. I cannot stress the importance of the 'Ice Breakers' part of the evening. For a singles mixer, this part is vital. This is the segment that will give you the opportunity and confidence to talk to everyone in a group framework, before having to deal with the one-to-one situation. Get there for the start or end up having to put in more work later on.

Coffee Meets Bagel is the brainchild of 3, South Korean born sisters; Arum, Dawoon and Soo Kang. Now natives of New York City, they have seen that the mega metropolis, with its population of over 8million people, presents challenges for the right people to meet each other. Looking at their own predicament, the sisters 3 have created an app, where once again Facebook is the central connecting point to profiles of a potential romantic match up.

HOW IT WORKS
Everyday at noon, a profile match is sent to your phone...Yes I said a profile, singular - as everybody sent to you is to be considered properly. If 24 hours pass and you haven't given the go ahead, the profile expires. In this method the inventors have now created a hub where you have to be somewhat straight forward in your approach. And since these profiles are friends of friends, a sullied reputation is an easy thing to garner if you're going to mess people around and be a complete idiot. People talk.

No one will deny that looks, attraction and an aesthetically pleasing demeanour are important to forming an interest in a potential mate. But in the hunt for love, some have taken the need for their partner to have the optimum appearance (whatever that is to them) and the position that their intended should be living an opulent lifestyle (which would then be spread into their life) way too far. We as a society which is constantly bombarded with the imagery of glamour and the often associated fame, have seemingly come to expect that lifestyle be afforded us, with no real foundation or reality that is viable...or even deserved. We are nit-picking and acting like spoilt kids, running a social software; programme that filters out what is supposedly not cool, because cool is a social currency that matters more than ever in the 21st century. We dislike elements about people, that in the grand scheme of things, will not aid in the attempt to form and sustain a relationship and as the song says "you can't always get what you want" but for those who haven't heard those lyrics, it seems that all that they want, is all that they are aiming for - well good luck. 

The following are some stupid reasons for rejection on initial contact or after a few dates.

WHY WOMEN REJECT
Snobbery: She's come across a man that she finds attractive, only to find out that what he does for a living is not very glamorous, so she shuts him down. You may think you deserve an oil tycoon or famous inventor, but does he deserve you? Are you so well rounded and accomplished in every department that this billionaire will put you above all other contenders?

Height:  Not only is he taller than you, he's taller than you when you wear your highest heels, but you have set your mind on marrying Goliath, still not realising that height will not be the deciding factor as to whether your relationship goes the distance.

Swagger: When the man's image is more important to her, than it ever will be to you... She sees her man as a cool brand to be paraded amongst the masses. If you're not, then you ain't hot.

Money: You don't look like someone who has it, so you won't be given the time of day...have you seen the way Bill Gates' dresses?

Education: You find out that he hasn't got the same level of qualifications as you and you gain a superiority complex that you're too good for him. Does he need to build a particle weapon in front of you or something?

WHY MEN REJECT 
Success: He finds out how much money she makes and it's more than he does. This makes him feel emasculated, which of course is one of the worst feelings a man can have whilst being in a relationship. So of course he won't venture forward. It's 2014 son! if you are looking for a decent woman, who works, has good character and skills (the things that you supposedly look for in a partner) then you are very likely going to find someone accomplished in all fields and earning the reward for it.

Physicality: She doesn't have the body of your absolute ideal...in fact, for you, most women don't have that body. However you continue to look for some myth of a figure that only exists in your head...or a lads magazine - once the model has received 4 hours of airbrushing. Start mantra-rising "She Is Good Enough".

Forthcoming Attitude: A Woman that can lay all her cards on the table and knows what she wants, can scare the be-hay-zeus out of some men, though I use the noun men loosely. Women are wrongfully coached not to do this, where as, I think if a man can handle this type of conversation well, he should be considered mature and a contender.

Extreme Independence: Men want to significantly fit into their ladies life, if you are so busy doing things that don't require them to help or completely do something for you, that you can't do yourself, then they will feel obsolete. When a man can't see his role or any space in your life, he won't bother following his desire. Think of a wookie needing to win at chess.

 UNIVERSAL

• You don't like how they dress or you detest a particular fashion element that they love.
  
• You find out that they have never taken part in one or any of your biggest interests and don't intend to either.
  
• Mildly differing politics
• They don't go on holiday every year
• You don't like their nationality

Use the above photos to honestly build your partner and you will quickly learn what your focus is.
View the photos below to re-craft your perception.