When we are born, the lifestyle paradigms and templates we immediately default to, our usually those of our parents and elders - the people that raised us. But at some point in our adult independence, we need to find our own true way and take incoming, external suggestions and opinions as just that - external. It is important to acknowledge, that we are not all here for the same reasons and true freedom lies in being allowed to choose the lifestyle you want, regardless of all the labels placed upon us, including the more complex labels and matrix related to age. 

Now let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater, the concept of age has its usefulness in many facets of our lives. For eons, societies, per culture have used age (and time) to formulate the appropriateness of access to certain rights and privileges. And from the studies of biology, physiology, sociology and psychology, we have gone onto determine when physical and mental development reaches a sensible maturation for these prestige interactions. Our notions on age have influenced us in declaring when we thought it was collectively right, to allow people to vote politically, to consume alcohol, to have sex, to get married, to join the armed forces and even learn to drive a car. All of these are based on age and what gives these particular age-dependent rights a common theme, is that they all carry a certain weight of responsibility to our fellow human beings. Handled wrongly and the results can be fatally tragic.

However, in the event that you are mature beyond your years, this gift could also be a curse. Legally you are a minor, but intellectually, socially or both, your interactions project you as someone 20 years beyond their true age. The true test of our fortitude and independence is to escape labels where they don't help and to courageously swim against the tide. It's easy to say, but if you come from a community who have guidelines for every tenet of your life, with an overall set of guiding principles, then to be original, independent, a rebel, or a renegade, or ahead of your time - all of which are labels of their outlook to your idiosyncrasies, is not always easy. For some, the euphoria gained from a realised identity is more than enough to propel them into the spheres of life that they feel they belong to, no hesitation felt, no quarter given. They don't need anyone's approval, or for anyone to sign off on their alternate choices. But we are not all born brave or defiant and repression of oneself coupled with the overall oppression from your community, can keep you firmly fixed in a place where you don't really feel comfortable.

My advice is to take small steps. Though I use 'age' as the tip of the spear (as in our construct of time it's inescapable), there will be many other labels hung upon your neck, without your consent in your journey. People will tell us who we are or who we should be and very often this will come from people who don't even know themselves or haven't deviated from one bit of societal and cultural programming. Within the age category, we/others will also assign various 'sign posts' that bare comment to our age stage. Our age stage is suppose to act as a signifier, as to where we should be in life. If you are one of those people who has planned their personal journey out and it is fairly standard of your culture, then more power to ya! But what if you are not? Age can be used as a weapon against you, it can be used to shame you, expel you, or even bar you. "Well you're this age now, shouldn't you be married? Shouldn't you have kids? Shouldn't you be further in your career". These are all questions of someone who has bought into the common status quo and doesn't have the 'sight' to see your difference, your struggle or the politeness to ask; what it is you actually want out of life. With the sheer and vast experiences taking place around the world everyday, I still find it mind boggling, that people can't accept that choices that don't fit in with their perspective are available. The world is dynamic. It is best for a person to choose their truthful existence on whilst here, rather than have one handed down to them. Don't think because you came up in the exact same way as another, that your fate's are set and sealed in a common unison. The human spirit is bigger than that and the path of destiny crazy and unpredictable. 

I would not argue against a person not being able to define themselves, but how do you accurately judge the perception of yourself to a reality that others can be in agreement with? The problem often comes from what you feel inside, not necessarily matching what is being 'broadcasted' to the rest of the world and this can cause serious problems when these two perceptions not only, not match, but are diametrically opposed. Can one person get the world to agree with the identification they place upon themselves? If you; Jane Doe/John Smith see yourself as 'ABC' but the world at large sees you as 'XYZ' who is right? Does mass perception overrule the individual opinion because the response to you will always come from what people feel about you, rather than what you feel about yourself.

This very small example speaks to our need for security in label identification, as in by understanding what a person does, we think we know who a person is. By understanding someone's faith we think we know their ways. I leave it to you to find out what people label you as. Ask relatives, friends, co-workers and I think you will discover a few surprises in discovering; that we are one thing to one person, something else to another and then a multiple of identities to those we have more complicated relationships with. But in the end, the ultimate question will still remain, who are you to yourself? A good answer to have would be: true.