Myopic points of view are already annoying enough to deal with, but when the tunnel vision comes from minds that are not able to connect the past to the future, then an omission of history on their part can only lead to ignorance, echo chamber programming and one dimensional thinking.
Empowered And Equal...but not when we date
When I watch dating podcasts, especially the American ones, the one requisite I see a woman demand time and time again, is that he be a provider and I don't mean in collaboration with her, but solely. Yes, in this ridiculous worldwide economy, the pressure to be an economic hero is still a part of marriage capitalism that just won't go away. What annoys me the most about the ask, is the lack of historical awareness; in that, the only reason men were sole providers is by default - women were not allowed to do a gaaaard damn thing and so there wasn't an A or B or an AB choice. Also, money stretched way much better in the past and one income was enough. Society is no longer built that way, where in the 1920's you could buy a small house for £200. Now, that money could be used for a sigle night on the town.
When I watch dating podcasts, especially the American ones, the one requisite I see a woman demand time and time again, is that he be a provider and I don't mean in collaboration with her, but solely. Yes, in this ridiculous worldwide economy, the pressure to be an economic hero is still a part of marriage capitalism that just won't go away. What annoys me the most about the ask, is the lack of historical awareness; in that, the only reason men were sole providers is by default - women were not allowed to do a gaaaard damn thing and so there wasn't an A or B or an AB choice. Also, money stretched way much better in the past and one income was enough. Society is no longer built that way, where in the 1920's you could buy a small house for £200. Now, that money could be used for a sigle night on the town.
We are no longer in those times, well some of the world isn't, and yet the programming hasn't changed. Women - especially of the West; you are no longer vulnerable. Your fate as an adult woman is no longer in the hands of your father and then your husband. And so the perpetuated idea that a man has to be a sole breadwinner is ridiculous, but also selfish. If you want a ye olde marriage set-up, then be prepared to be a wife of those times with few rights and privileges - which brings me to what stopped women from being providers in the first place.
The following is an AI generated list of all the tings women were not allowed to do, which did make them vulnerable and so I ask, what is the excuse for today, in not wanting to contribute to your own survival? When you are single you do it - marriage should not make a difference.
🏦 Financial & Economic Autonomy
Obtain a Credit Card in their Own Name: Before the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974, banks could legally refuse to issue a credit card to a woman unless she had a male co-signer (husband, father, or brother).
Obtain a Credit Card in their Own Name: Before the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974, banks could legally refuse to issue a credit card to a woman unless she had a male co-signer (husband, father, or brother).
- Open a Bank Account without a Male Co-signer/Permission: In many states, especially if married, a woman needed her husband's permission or signature to open a checking or savings account. While some states had laws allowing this earlier (e.g., California in 1862), the widespread cultural and discriminatory practice persisted for many institutions until the 1960s and 1970s.
- Get a Business Loan without a Male Co-signer: Similar to credit cards and mortgages, women were often denied loans for business ventures without a man's signature.
- Obtain a Mortgage in their Own Name: It was standard practice for banks to refuse mortgages to women, regardless of their income, unless they had a male co-signer.
- Be Protected from Job Discrimination based on Pregnancy: Before the Pregnancy Discrimination Act of 1978, women could be legally fired from their jobs just for being pregnant.
- Receive Equal Pay for Equal Work (Without Legal Protections): While the Equal Pay Act of 1963 was passed, wage discrimination remained a widespread practice and was difficult to fight without strong legal precedent and enforcement.
- Be Admitted to a Military Academy: The first women were admitted to US military academies (like West Point) in 1976, and the first classes with women graduated in 1980.
- Get a Job as a Bartender (In some states): Specific jobs, like being a bartender, were legally restricted to men in some states until court rulings in the early 1970s.
- Keep their Job After Getting Married (in certain professions): "Marriage bars" were common policies in fields like teaching and nursing, forcing women to quit upon marriage.
- File for Bankruptcy without Husband's Permission: Married women often lacked independent legal standing in financial matters.
🏛️ Legal & Political Rights
Serve on a Jury in All 50 States: While many states allowed women to serve on juries after the 19th Amendment, some states maintained systems that excluded or effectively barred women. The Supreme Court ruling in Taylor v. Louisiana in 1975 finally held that excluding women from the jury pool violated the requirement that a jury be drawn from a fair cross-section of the community.
Serve on a Jury in All 50 States: While many states allowed women to serve on juries after the 19th Amendment, some states maintained systems that excluded or effectively barred women. The Supreme Court ruling in Taylor v. Louisiana in 1975 finally held that excluding women from the jury pool violated the requirement that a jury be drawn from a fair cross-section of the community.
- Choose to Use their Maiden Name on Official Documents: Until the 1970s, many states or institutions required a married woman to use her husband's surname on official forms like driver's licenses or passports.
- Refuse Sex from her Husband (Marital Rape Protection): Marital rape was not a crime in all 50 states until the mid-1990s. Protection for wives from sexual assault by their husbands began to be legally recognised in some state courts in the late 1970s.
- Get a Legal Abortion for Any Reason: The landmark Supreme Court decision Roe v. Wade in 1973 legalised abortion nationwide.
- Be Protected from Workplace Sexual Harassment: While this was always wrong, it wasn't defined and recognised as a form of illegal employment discrimination until the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) defined it in 1980.
- Have Legal Recourse for Domestic Violence without Police Viewing it as a "Private Family Matter": Before the 1970s, police were often hesitant to intervene in domestic abuse cases, viewing them as private issues.
- Divorce a Husband for "No-Fault" Reasons (In many states): The introduction of "no-fault" divorce laws, which did not require one spouse to prove the other was at fault (like adultery or cruelty), began in California in 1969 but spread across the US primarily in the 1970s.
- Legally Live with their Boyfriend: Cohabitation outside of marriage was illegal in many states until the Supreme Court and subsequent state legislative action throughout the 1970s and 1980s.
⚕️ Health & Body Autonomy
Obtain Birth Control Pills as a Single Woman: While the birth control pill was approved in 1960, the Supreme Court case Eisenstadt v. Baird in 1972 extended the right to contraceptives to unmarried couples.
Obtain Birth Control Pills as a Single Woman: While the birth control pill was approved in 1960, the Supreme Court case Eisenstadt v. Baird in 1972 extended the right to contraceptives to unmarried couples.
- Be a Part of All Olympic Games: Women's participation in all events was gradually phased in, with some sports remaining male-only until later.
- Receive Direct Consultation about Physical and Mental Health (Without Husband's Permission): A married woman often needed her husband's consent for medical procedures or even to see a doctor in some cases.
- Receive Equal Education and Entry into all University Programs: Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 prohibited sex-based discrimination in any school or education program that receives federal funding.
- Be Admitted to Ivy League Universities: Most Ivy League schools did not become fully co-educational until the late 1960s or early 1970s (e.g., Yale and Princeton in 1969, Harvard in 1977).
💼 Career & Professional Fields
- Be an Astronaut: NASA began training female astronauts in 1978, with Sally Ride becoming the first American woman in space in 1983.
- Be a Judge or Supreme Court Justice: Sandra Day O'Connor became the first female Supreme Court Justice in 1981.
- Be a CEO of a Fortune 500 Company: While no explicit law forbade this, the cultural and corporate barriers meant the first woman to break the Fortune 500 CEO barrier was in the early 1980s.
- Be a Combat Soldier/Pilot: Women were generally barred from combat roles in the military until well after the 1980s.
- Be a Sportscaster (In some cases): Women faced immense barriers to entry in sports journalism, with major legal battles, such as the one against the New York Yankees that ended in 1975, to gain equal access to locker rooms and interviews.
- Obtain a Degree in Women's Studies: The first Women's Studies program was established in 1970, and the discipline grew throughout the decade.
- Work on the Floor of the New York Stock Exchange: Women were officially barred from becoming full members of the exchange until 1967.
🗣️ Social & Cultural Freedoms
- Wear Pants/Slacks to Work (In many white-collar offices): Dress codes often mandated skirts or dresses until well into the 1970s.
- Wear Shorts to School (In many public schools): Girls were often required to wear dresses or skirts to school until the 1970s.
- Breastfeed in Public (Without Social or Legal Reprisal): While not strictly illegal in a formal sense, public breastfeeding was heavily stigmatised and often resulted in women being asked to leave public spaces.
- Run the Boston Marathon: Women were officially barred until 1972.
- Adopt a Baby as a Single Woman: Adoption agencies often prioritised married couples, and single-parent adoption was extremely difficult until the 1970s.
- Own a Bar/Tavern (In some states): Some state laws prevented women from owning or managing places where alcohol was served.
- Hold a Passport in their Own Name (If married, in some cases): In past years, a married woman's passport could be considered part of her husband's travel documents.
- Be Acknowledged for Running in the Boston Marathon: After women were allowed to run, they were initially not officially acknowledged.
- Attend the University of Notre Dame: The university became fully co-educational in 1972.
- Sit in the Front Cabin of a Plane (As a flight attendant): Flight attendant jobs were historically subject to numerous restrictions on age, weight, and marital status, with discriminatory policies lasting into the 1970s.
Now allllllll of that, were modern restrictions, so now imagine what it was like 200, 300, 400,1000 years ago and think of what a swell time you would have had, not having to help pay for your own existence. Being able to look after yourself shouldn't be snubbed at so easily. In 2025 onwards, asking a man to solely provide every little thing for you should be considered an embarrassment of the highest order.
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