When we are born, the lifestyle paradigms and templates we immediately default to, our usually those of our parents and elders - the people that raised us. But at some point in our adult independence, we need to find our own true way and take incoming, external suggestions and opinions as just that - external. It is important to acknowledge, that we are not all here for the same reasons and true freedom lies in being allowed to choose the lifestyle you want, regardless of all the labels placed upon us, including the more complex labels and matrix related to age.
When The Measurement Of Age Is Useful
Now let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater, the concept of age has its usefulness in many facets of our lives. For eons, societies, per culture have used age (and time) to formulate the appropriateness of access to certain rights and privileges. And from the studies of biology, physiology, sociology and psychology, we have gone onto determine when physical and mental development reaches a sensible maturation for these prestige interactions. Our notions on age have influenced us in declaring when we thought it was collectively right, to allow people to vote politically, to consume alcohol, to have sex, to get married, to join the armed forces and even learn to drive a car. All of these are based on age and what gives these particular age-dependent rights a common theme, is that they all carry a certain weight of responsibility to our fellow human beings. Handled wrongly and the results can be fatally tragic.
When Age And Labels Are Not Useful
However, in the event that you are mature beyond your years, this gift could also be a curse. Legally you are a minor, but intellectually, socially or both, your interactions project you as someone 20 years beyond their true age. The true test of our fortitude and independence is to escape labels where they don't help and to courageously swim against the tide. It's easy to say, but if you come from a community who have guidelines for every tenet of your life, with an overall set of guiding principles, then to be original, independent, a rebel, or a renegade, or ahead of your time - all of which are labels of their outlook to your idiosyncrasies, is not always easy. For some, the euphoria gained from a realised identity is more than enough to propel them into the spheres of life that they feel they belong to, no hesitation felt, no quarter given. They don't need anyone's approval, or for anyone to sign off on their alternate choices. But we are not all born brave or defiant and repression of oneself coupled with the overall oppression from your community, can keep you firmly fixed in a place where you don't really feel comfortable.
The Battle To Reach Beyond Their Expectations
My advice is to take small steps. Though I use 'age' as the tip of the spear (as in our construct of time it's inescapable), there will be many other labels hung upon your neck, without your consent in your journey. People will tell us who we are or who we should be and very often this will come from people who don't even know themselves or haven't deviated from one bit of societal and cultural programming. Within the age category, we/others will also assign various 'sign posts' that bare comment to our age stage. Our age stage is suppose to act as a signifier, as to where we should be in life. If you are one of those people who has planned their personal journey out and it is fairly standard of your culture, then more power to ya! But what if you are not? Age can be used as a weapon against you, it can be used to shame you, expel you, or even bar you. "Well you're this age now, shouldn't you be married? Shouldn't you have kids? Shouldn't you be further in your career". These are all questions of someone who has bought into the common status quo and doesn't have the 'sight' to see your difference, your struggle or the politeness to ask; what it is you actually want out of life. With the sheer and vast experiences taking place around the world everyday, I still find it mind boggling, that people can't accept that choices that don't fit in with their perspective are available. The world is dynamic. It is best for a person to choose their truthful existence on whilst here, rather than have one handed down to them. Don't think because you came up in the exact same way as another, that your fate's are set and sealed in a common unison. The human spirit is bigger than that and the path of destiny crazy and unpredictable.
63 Year Old Skateboarder
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, even if what someone says is diametrically opposed to everything you believe. But disrespect, rudeness and narrow mindedness, are not the best attributes to possess if you are going to regularly take part in online talks. Unfortunately, proximity has made cowards brave and because people are largely unaccountable for the inconsiderate, vile and evil things they say, they get more brave by the minute. Having to deal with people of this sort has influenced a mini exodus, where people are retreating from debate and changing how much and the way they use their social media. And so whether by a conscious decision or subconscious complex here are 14 of the worst mindsets, that we have interfaced with.
Top 14 Online Narcissistic Thoughts & Actions
1. I believe, that all people online are free to have an opinion, as long as their opinion is the same as mine.
2. I will read your posts, ignoring all the good and valid points, even the points that I agree upon, but then make a concerted effort to weed out something 'bad', just so I can come in and be contrary.
3. Infact, I will only ever appear on your posts to be contrary or point out mistakes and if it's a good day - both!
4. Secretly, I don't like you, yet I feel compelled to stay online friends...maybe it's so I can enact: points 2 and 3.
5. By default, I am always right, so rather than just stating what I believe, whilst still allowing you to have your own opinion, I am willing to die, to make you change your mind. In fact you should die for not agreeing with me.
6. I will apply rules in how we manage our online exchange, but only let you know that these rules actually exist, once discussions are not going my way.
7. I will completely forget that we are likely to meet-up at a non-keyboard warrior event and in your presence, act like I have never insulted you.
8. I will not take you're established nature into consideration and will always see the worst because something deep inside of me is uncomfortable with you. You have never done anything negative to me in person or online, yet you bother me...a lot. Stop being so free, real and happy, it's irritating.
9. Philosophies that I have never followed in my real life, will be part of my avatar personality. I will defend these philosophies wholeheartedly, all the while forgetting that I also exist in the real world, where people actually see me live the opposite lifestyle and know about allllll the mistakes I have made.
10. I will read your posts and try my best to bend whatever you say to mean something completely different, just so I can be contrary. I will edit points to contend with issues I didn't think of beforehand and always do my best to win! I will even argue on points that you didn't actually make because winning on social media is everything to me! If you say 'A', I will say 'B', if you then agree and also say 'B' I will then say X, Y, Z.
11. When I see you in public, I will ignore you, then if I see you later that year, acknowledge you...then if I see you again, semi-acknowledge you. Then come back onto social media and be your best friend...until it's time to start again. My sometimish calibre is Olympic class.
12. Even though you deleted me, I will develop a memory problem, that will erase the serious issues we had with each other in the past, that led to the separation. Then some years later, I will try to reconnect online. If this is not possible, I will watch you from afar or mine information from mutual contacts and comment in places you do.. If I bump into you in public, I will act as if the past was all hunky-dory. I don't know why I do this, perhaps I hate, love, want, fear, want to be you? Or maybe I am just messed up.
13. Even though you put some things out as pure information or entertainment, I will still try to create an unnecessary or unwanted debate, which will hopefully lead me to deliver points 2 and 3.
14. In seeing you succeed in some way, I will now try to join forces with you, forgetting, that you had tried to form an alliance in the past, where I had denied you because of my fear of your talent and of course my general insecurity. Hence my reason to lash out at the world...from a safe place.
TOP 10 PSYCHOLOGICAL COMPLEXES
"A person with a god complex may refuse to admit the possibility of their error or failure, even in the face of irrefutable evidence, intractable problems or difficult or impossible tasks."
"An attitude of superiority which conceals actual feelings of inferiority and failure."
"The hero syndrome is a phenomenon affecting people who seek heroism or recognition, usually by creating a desperate situation which they can resolve."
Electra & Oedipus Complex
Electra "is a girl's psychosexual competition with her mother for possession of her father. The positive Oedipus complex refers to a child's unconscious sexual desire for the opposite-sex parent and hatred for the same-sex parent.
Don Juan Complex
"Don Juanism or Don Juan syndrome is a non-clinical term for the desire, in a man, to have sex with many different female partners".
Madonna–whore complex "is the inability to maintain sexual arousal within a committed, loving relationship".
"An obsession with the idea of having done wrong".
"An irrational and obsessive feeling or fear that one is the object of collective hostility or ill-treatment on the part of others."
"A martyr complex is a destructive pattern of behavior in which a person habitually seeks suffering or persecution as a way to feel 'good' about themselves.
"An unrealistic feeling of general inadequacy caused by actual or supposed inferiority in one sphere, sometimes marked by aggressive behaviour in compensation."
A great singer-songwriter, George Michael wasn't just about the music. Here is an interview from 2003, that showed the political intelligence of the missed star had.
Having graduated from the Home Page, RC and IK are now embarking on their own blogging adventures to examine the world of social curiosities and romantic anthropology.