Yes, True Love Still Exists...But
Human beings have become much more complicated with their needs and desires and in-turn, this has made finding love, wrapped within the right person, a much more arduous task. In this modern technological age, one extra consideration that has become more prevalent, is our very deliberate choice of lifestyle. Many of us from the comfort of our homes, are granted instant access to the sights and sounds of what is going on around the world. We have been given a global catalogue of lifestyles to choose from and this has added yet another element to consider when looking for a partner. The new rising question is; can / does / would - this potential partner, be prepared to ride in tandem with how I want to live for now and in the future? Admittedly, this factor is not a brand new area of consideration when looking for love, as we generally do want someone to be on the same page as us when it comes to our lifestyle. But beyond physical attraction, compatible personalities and ideologies that aren't diametrically opposed, too many of us are looking for this complete 'human package' that will require no work or negotiation. In the past, lifestyle was more of an afterthought because we were willing to work and forge a path together, now we want a person who will simply slide into our plans without any alterations needed on our part. This is a selfish, unrealistic requirement and it is killing off potentials faster than bad breath.
We all have our own values and principles by which we live and it is often a task in itself to find someone that is in sync with them. In addition to that mission, our own unwillingness to bend or sacrifice a little of our lifestyle and ambition is not actually making the search any harder, no it is not! It is making the idea of any deviation from our plans intolerable for consideration. So we meet someone, we like them a lot, we see where they want to go, understand how it would affect our plans and then decide that they are a resounding NO! And even for some of us already in relationships, the refusal to factor-in that a person coming into your life will in some way be disruptive to it, will eventually lead to an impasse...or a stand-off. Yet by default, people can factor-in turbulence when it comes to having a baby or getting promoted to a more senior position at work! O, we're all ready to adapt then, no matter how stressful, unfamiliar or uncomfortable the experience can be. But for a partner? The willingness varies.
There seems to be this new romantic ideal, that upon meeting someone new, all motion and logistics for you will carry on the same when you meet someone, because they will syncopate their life with yours. The reality is, that when 2 separate paths meet, both of you have to be willing create a new life together. This will no doubt involve doing things you didn't do before, maintaining some of what pre-existed and sensibly creating a new space for what developments your union will manifest.
"Love is a nice feeling, but it is through logical function, propelled by mature, emotional intelligence, that will see that the love survives."
This is where sacrifice comes into a relationship. If you are a person who has a massive list of goals and ambitions and a designated path to creating a particular type of lifestyle, you have to ask yourself what, if at all, are you prepared to sacrifice in the forms of delay, half completion or complete denial. Yes, you may be required to forsake something, but you'll know you are with the right person if giving up these things seems like a small price to pay.
It has never been in my mind, that a completely separate life joining to mine, would simply fall into 100% syncopation. It’s a nice fantasy, one that can happen, but usually - something has to give. You cannot merge with somebody and then go about being independent within a partnership, that is a love crime of the highest order. Love is a nice feeling, but it is through logical function, propelled by mature, emotional intelligence, that will see that the love survives.
A STORY OF LOVE...
Having graduated from the Home Page, RC and IK are now embarking on their own blogging adventures to examine the world of social curiosities and romantic anthropology.