We all do it! Someone will say something so ridiculous online, that we have to respond, but end up writing some magnum opus in retaliation...I mean response. See if you can guess what their initial comment, post or podcast was saying that called down the lightning!
MARRYING IN 2025 WITH THE SOLE FOCUS THAT IT IS TO BE A BUSINESS ARRANGEMENT
You can marry someone that you love, that still has a developing function in personality and an elevating socio-economic prowess. But let's use the thousands of people who came before us (real life case studies) as the "proof of concept". Marrying for love or marrying for money or marrying for both can work or it can go completely wrong. How do you measure if a relationship is going to make the distance? Look up the "The most expensive divorces in the world" the top 5 involve billionaires...so was the benefit of those marriages - for the women, the divorce? Because money and assets didn't guarantee longevity. Meanwhile, you've got high school sweet hearts who both started out with nothing, built together and are married 30 years plus. I tell you; a lot of men, will 'LOVE' this mercenary attitude to relationships because it means they can use it to get past being boring, emotionless, selfish, draconian and even worse.
SOMEBODY WAS PROBABLY TALKING ABOUT TRADITIONAL SET-UPS IN MARRIAGE WITHOUT THEM HAVING TO BE TRADITIONAL...
All that these types of questions show me, is that people are chained to rituals and traditions outside of the context that they were originally created in the first place. You are free to customise your relationship, where you are actual partners who want to make the situation work for the best of the coupledom. What is the realism of your joint financial power vs a single one? What actually makes sense if you want better options in life? If you want to cling to centuries old traditions, where women didn't have permission to even lick a gaaard damn stamp without a man's say-so - then do you. The rest of us will work with equity and common sense, taking account of our true socio-economic situation and managing it appropriately, rather than clinging to centuries old relationship traditions, wrapped in fake romance that don't even take into account the new era's, new positions and agency that most western women have. Women, you are no longer in a second-class, vulnerable citizen mode - it's 2025 not 1725. And so, entering the relationship as a 'vulnerable' dependent that needs to be taken care of, like you are going straight from your father's house to your husband's house circa 1700, is redundant and self-patronising. Women need to come in as full and competent partners. Oh, and there is no such thing as 'settling' you got, what you could get, otherwise you would have gotten what you actually wanted.
BELOW ARE SOME OF THE THINGS THAT WOMEN WERE NOT ALLOWED TO DO
These restrictions are what put women in a vulnerable positions for their whole entire lives, and so, in the past
having a traditional marriage, with a decent man made perfect sense - there was no other option.
But do these restrictions still exist - no. So why are so many 'free' women
insisting that the man carry the entire load of their existence?
These restrictions are what put women in a vulnerable positions for their whole entire lives, and so, in the past
having a traditional marriage, with a decent man made perfect sense - there was no other option.
But do these restrictions still exist - no. So why are so many 'free' women
insisting that the man carry the entire load of their existence?
PEOPLE WHO HATE ON KEVIN SAMUELS VERY OFTEN DON'T KNOW HIS ORIGIN STORY...
Kevin Samuel's was a consultant for rich businessmen who were looking for a wife of a certain type. He actually matched couples up. He also gave very tough advice to 'ordinary' men, yet no one accuses him of hating men. Women came onto his radar (coming to him) because they wanted to know how they could get the rich businessmen, that used his consulting services. Most women were told that they couldn't get them because they were not want the rich businessmen were looking for. Some further asked to be added to an exclusive Facebook match making group and were denied again. Kevin went from bing straightforward but polite, to cutting and mean and the delusional men were not spared either; asking a man "How big is your d**k" as a question to judge your worthiness, is not polite. For some reason, just about every woman he would speak to, would declare herself the exception to what his clients were looking for and it became a running joke. I actually think that his anger towards this element is what made him tire and then ridicule certain types of women. The ones that actually listened to his advice, didn't suffer a public execution, but that content is not rigged to go viral. If you watch full episodes, I guarantee you, that you will side with Kevin in most encounters and simultaneously feel secondhand embarrassment for some of the foolishness that these ladies came with. A lot of the perceived malice turns into comedy, when you see a show from the start and he just can't get a woman to see how her life situation is the complete antithesis of what these rich businessmen are looking for.
TRADITIONAL CHATTER...AGAIN
Dear People, When you say "traditional" please state your era, so we can list the accepted oppressions and duties that came along with that time. And furthermore, if we were to look at you as a single person, would we observe a lifestyle that easily says that you are traditional or old fashioned? If not, why do you suddenly become so when in a relationship? The real problem revolves around format switching; one minute we're down with a patriarchal outlook because it means you get certain benefits, then for some, as soon as something arises that sees you having to work, make a sacrifice or contribution, it becomes a problem and all of a sudden you're subscribing to a branch of feminism that's more about supremacy. Then when that stops working in your favour, we go back to equality, but when that becomes a problem, now we recognise equity. The end game for people like this is to get as much as possible and do and sacrifice as little as they can get away with.
IDEAS ON MASCULINITY AND FEMININITY...
Masculinity and femininity are expressions of energy that come with their own 'displays'. Even though we would expect a man to naturally have more masculine traits and women more feminine ones, the truth is much more complicated. Just like men and women both have testosterone and oestrogen, the levels are imbalanced for a reason - but still serve to produce mixed results on the spectrum of human experience. If you look at say 'leadership' as a masculine expression, you'll notice that there are many women around the world who are also leaders, so to different degrees there is a harnessing of a masculine traits. For some, this energy will be natural for others it will be a totally learned behaviour in order to survive at work, at home or even in the streets. Masculinity does not come from how much money you make or how strong you are, along with femininity they are expressed attitudes that can't be faked. However, within masculinity there is an expected outcome from owing this energy and it is usually acquired and grown through traversing easy to extremely hard rites of passage tests. With femininity either you have it or you don't, but you can eliminate masculine behaviours to leave feminine ones behind and there are no tests or expectations to prove one's femininity as their are with the masculine.
I AM HERE TO BE SERVED...
There is a power dynamic to all relationships, in matters of coupledom, use your powers to benefit each other. An easy ask for people who lead with compassion and unselfishness. Hard for people who only want to only experience personal gain.
YOU WANT A TRADITIONAL MAN, BUT ARE YOU A TRADITIONAL WOMAN WITH THE ASSOCIATED TRAITS...
Virgin, No kids, and because of being a virgin, that means no sex before marriage. Doesn't use foul language. Has a small network of close friends, has ties to her community, doesn't gossip and this includes telling personal relationship business to anyone who will listen. Doesn't go to risqué places that would shame or tarnish herself and family/name. Doesn't indulge in smoking, drugs or excessive drinking. Maintains close ties to family. Family focused not career ambitious. Can you be these things in 2025? No, then stop asking a man to be traditional with no traditional values coming from your side. Traditional is a hard path to follow...unless your idea of traditional is actually a mixture of everything you want it to be.
OK! SO YOU WANNNA TO GET NUTS! LET'S GET NUTS!
When people try to use the Bible as a format for their relationship, but haven't looked too closely...
When people try to use the Bible as a format for their relationship, but haven't looked too closely...
THE REALISM OF AGE & ECONOMICS
Older Man, Younger Woman - Why? One Reason... A man at 25 years old loves a woman at 23-25 years old, if she is totally for him and them - great! They go off and build together - same age and range. Now, if she is one of those; he's got to be a provider types, then let's break down the reality of what his income has to do. Housing, utilities, Car/s, Wife, kid 1, kid 2, kid 3, Holidays and everything else I haven't mentioned. At 25 years old, in 2025, will most men have the finance for this? No. At 35-45 years old, there is a much greater chance that they do - but once again, with 2025's economics... So, after all the work and sacrifice hi does to get himself into this position, do you actually think he is going to limit his options to his age mates - especially if he wants kids?
PAY EQUALITY...
Arnold Schwarzenegger's Pay For: The Terminator (1984) - $75,000, for The Terminator 2 - Judgement Day (1991) $15,000,000. What happened in between these two films to garner such a huge pay rise? Answer. Commando, Raw Deal, Predator, The Running Man, Red Heat, Twins Total, Recall and Kindergarten Cop. His pay went up, because he became a major box office draw and one of the most popular actors of the 80s and 90s. None of his movies lost any money and most of them were massive smash hits that are still watched and celebrated today. That's why he ended up getting the big bucks. Now in comparison, actress Linda Hamilton who played Sarah Connor in The Terminator could never have asked for the same money in the reprising of her role in The Terminator 2. She got paid $1,000,000, a figure so far away from Arnie's pay right? But before you start screaming for equality, off the top of your head, list her big projects after the first Terminator film...I'll wait.
So male or female, you can't come into this game and get major pay without proving that you're worth it. Even an OSCAR winner or OSCAR nominee won't get extra money - it's all about your ability to get bums on seats, which in the cinema equates to revenue. And even though I fully back what Taraji P. Hensen has been saying and Viola Davis too, about their pay, there are quite a few other actors out there that need to reacquaint themselves with the "Star Power" rating system and understand that they are not in the same league as these two top actors. Taraji should be getting paid more for her veteran status in combination with what she brings to projects, as for the others harping on about equal pay FOR LEADS - a lead role differs to every other casting position on a film project and they should know this. I've been an extra and featured artist since the year 2016, and if I were to suddenly get a lead role in a film starring opposite Viola Davis, do you think it would makes sense to get paid what she is, with not a single project under my belt? Nobody even knows who the hell I am and so, yes there is equality but there is also righteous equity.
So male or female, you can't come into this game and get major pay without proving that you're worth it. Even an OSCAR winner or OSCAR nominee won't get extra money - it's all about your ability to get bums on seats, which in the cinema equates to revenue. And even though I fully back what Taraji P. Hensen has been saying and Viola Davis too, about their pay, there are quite a few other actors out there that need to reacquaint themselves with the "Star Power" rating system and understand that they are not in the same league as these two top actors. Taraji should be getting paid more for her veteran status in combination with what she brings to projects, as for the others harping on about equal pay FOR LEADS - a lead role differs to every other casting position on a film project and they should know this. I've been an extra and featured artist since the year 2016, and if I were to suddenly get a lead role in a film starring opposite Viola Davis, do you think it would makes sense to get paid what she is, with not a single project under my belt? Nobody even knows who the hell I am and so, yes there is equality but there is also righteous equity.
SELFISHNESS DISMANTLED
I agree. Men should fish in their own economic lane, as a woman who has established her lifestyle needs will most likely want whoever comes along, to be able to match it - but admittedly, I am still confused about certain elements. So, to be clear black women are studying harder than ever to achieve good grades at school, they are then going to college to get degrees, masters and PhDs, to then get well paying jobs. They take care of themselves fully for a time, then after putting in all this work, they then demand a man come into their lives and pay 100% for their lifestyle because the year is actually 1823, where women are totally vulnerable and need a man to take care of them - is this correct?
Firstly, the black socio-economic experience is different to everybody else's - stop comparing. Secondly, I will forever respect black women that at least understand; that modern relationships need heavy customisation because the current pushed value system is a weird mix of feminism, patriarchy, capitalism, cultural traditions and religion. Many tenets of each system are actually diametrically opposed to each other and therefore these dating waters have to be navigated with insight. At the very least, let the expectations and duties for both the man and woman be fair. Does this sound like fairness? I (the woman) should be allowed to work, earn heaps of money - but you as the man should pay all the bills simply because you are male. We can only be together if we are equally yoked, but there will be no equality in the relationship, as I get to do what I want (including not being a traditional wife/husband) but you have to fulfil all the duties of the 1950s man/woman. I (the man) expect you to do every domestic chore in the house, work a job and contribute to the bills. People! In these conversations please state why the man or woman should end up in a role that just seems like pure service to you! Don't expect your partner to adopt a mode or couple format that you are unwilling to. Your existence together has to work in harmony - a fixed ye olde format will work for some, but not for others.
Firstly, the black socio-economic experience is different to everybody else's - stop comparing. Secondly, I will forever respect black women that at least understand; that modern relationships need heavy customisation because the current pushed value system is a weird mix of feminism, patriarchy, capitalism, cultural traditions and religion. Many tenets of each system are actually diametrically opposed to each other and therefore these dating waters have to be navigated with insight. At the very least, let the expectations and duties for both the man and woman be fair. Does this sound like fairness? I (the woman) should be allowed to work, earn heaps of money - but you as the man should pay all the bills simply because you are male. We can only be together if we are equally yoked, but there will be no equality in the relationship, as I get to do what I want (including not being a traditional wife/husband) but you have to fulfil all the duties of the 1950s man/woman. I (the man) expect you to do every domestic chore in the house, work a job and contribute to the bills. People! In these conversations please state why the man or woman should end up in a role that just seems like pure service to you! Don't expect your partner to adopt a mode or couple format that you are unwilling to. Your existence together has to work in harmony - a fixed ye olde format will work for some, but not for others.
WHEN PEOPLE SHOW YOU WHO THEY ARE...
For me, issues like this should be observed during the dating period, if you see a dressing style, that is the true expression of a potential and you don't like it, then bop. If she (they) happen to ask why you're signing out, then you can tactfully tell her and maybe she'll change...or not, either way at the dating stage I can't really suggest too much on how she should do anything, my mission is to see if we are compatible and if her style suggests that we are not - then bye. My power lies in walking away from what I don't approve of, however, if my actual 'partner' has always been someone that dressed in a way that I never had a problem with and then somewhere down the line she heads into territory that I don't like, then we can have a more in-depth conversation, but stubborn defiance and "I'll do whatever I want" can easily become a two-way street. Any standard that I upheld for you can easily get banished. You can never forget, that you both represent each other now.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT...
Vegans Vs Meat Easters: A Silverback Gorilla is big, powerful, strong and only eats plants. A cheetah is the fastest land animal on the face of the Earth and only eats meat. So here's an idea, in being human and able to consume both, let's just allow those who want to -to do that. But let us also be individually sensible and place bias on how much, of which group of foods we eat from, depending on what our specific bodies need. Dietary comparisons via what animals do can only go so far, as I have no intention of eating raw meat or practicing coprophagy; a practice where some herbivores eat their own poop to "help deliver much needed nutrients and obtain certain nutrients that are produced by microbes present in the digestive tract." Are you gonna do that? No, well why not? I'll wait.... Plus people have reactions to foods that are deemed as healthy, so what sermon are you going to preach to them?
RSS Feed
