Admittedly, with our online dating profiles, we want to sell the most positive version of ourselves...to a certain extent. But with so many profiles failing to attract the desired people, could the problem be that the image we portray, is not the image on display?
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In the search to find Mr or Mrs Right, many of us have successfully used online dating. I mean it's a quicker system than just going out every weekend right? You can ascertain vital information at the touch of a button; finding out about their career, location and even check out their physique without looking like a perv. But what can still astound me about people's profiles, is the portrayal of ones image, in comparison to who they really are.
I've never understood the point of lying or crafting manipulative euphemisms. If you are even fortunate to get to the stage of dating, any lie you told, is eventually going to be exposed and what might have seemed like a good booster to you finding love, could turn out to give you a pyrrhic victory and a short-lived one at that. And so opposite your date sits, staring at you bewildered, as your current profile photos neglected to show that your entire face has now been tattooed. Yes something like that matters.
RED FLAG! 10 Reasons That Your Online Profile Isn't Working The Way You Want It To.
1. You portray an air of sophistication in what you write about yourself and you claim that you are only looking for a serious relationship. But then, all your profile photos are on the verge of porn. When you receive nothing but invitations to be bonked, you end up having to write a ranting disclaimer as part of your profile that states; you should be treated with respect and should not be considered for threesomes, orgies and other nefarious activities when approached. Really?
1. You portray an air of sophistication in what you write about yourself and you claim that you are only looking for a serious relationship. But then, all your profile photos are on the verge of porn. When you receive nothing but invitations to be bonked, you end up having to write a ranting disclaimer as part of your profile that states; you should be treated with respect and should not be considered for threesomes, orgies and other nefarious activities when approached. Really?
2. There is no information about you on your profile whatsoever. After potentials have looked at the one and only photo of you, there is no wording, even a short line or two about your hobbies. If you can't be bothered to put into effect the very process that will stimulate interest, then why bother? From a technical point of view, if a person doesn't fill in his/her desires in a mate, how is the algorithm in the system going to put you in the radar of a suitable match, when there is no data about you to correlate it to them? REDUNDANT!
3. You have uploaded plenty of photos - this is good! However rather than displaying accurate photos or at least a varied amount of photos of how you can look, it appears that you have hired a professional photographer to create stunning photos of yourself when you don't really look like that! Alternatively don't doctor existing photos of yourself to look better because once again, when you make it to the dating stage, you can't apply CGI in real life.
4. If you invent a lifestyle just to be interesting, you'll have to live up to the lie. If you don't actually summer in the South of France, have 6 holiday homes around the world and aren't really the inventor of the wheel, my suggestion is to not invent the fiction, to make yourself seem more interesting. Alternatively if you are ashamed of your situation or live a less than exciting life, casually mention that you are looking to start a new adventure with somebody. Turn the slight negative into a positive.
5. Omitted facts such as radical politics, fringe belief systems and controversial practices may not need to be on your open profile. But once you get talking, you better announce them fairly soon, as to delay this info, is to invite eventual disappointment. You can't blame your potential partner for inventing an excuse as to why they can't join you every 2 weeks to run through the forests of England butt naked. It's not because they can't physically do it, it is more a case that the whole public nudity element is not really their thing. I know, what prudes they are.
6. Allow your personality to come out through what you write, you are not applying for a job at a bank. If you are naturally witty, then be funny, if you are uptight then be serious. The more honest you are, the better chance you have of attracting someone who will positively respond to the truth of you.
7. Update your information, if you are 23kgs heavier than your current photos show, your new photos need to reflect this. Whereas you might think this is going to hinder your chances, you cannot calculate the taste of who is checking you out. What you really don't want, is to see the look of disappointment on your dates face, when they don't see what you showed them.
8. False Intentions...your profile says you want a full-on relationship, but you've approached so many people for casual sex, that in the forums you are actually known and it has been advised that you be avoided at all costs.
9. Sex, it's one of the things that drives us the most, but it should never be mentioned in your profile. Even if the sole reason for you to be online is to have casual encounters, sex is actually the last thing that should be discussed...unless you are on that type of site.
10. From your profile name to your personal messages, consider what you say up until your first date. Imagine that your mother can see everything you are writing and doing online. That way your cyber tongue should make all the right moves. Many people have been accidentally scared away by jokes, sentiments and personal opinions, that if were made face-to-face, with your personality behind them, would have gone down very well. But like texting, sometimes the incorrect tone, intention or feeling is wrongly perceived and all of a sudden it's goodbye from them!
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